


Expecting

by Trekflower (TrekFlower)



Series: Baby Spark [4]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Away Missions, Delta Quadrant, Episode: s07e25 Endgame (Star Trek: Voyager), F/M, First Contact, Fix-It, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Marriage Proposal, Mystery, POV Female Character, POV First Person, Pregnancy, Romance, Star Trek References, Wedding Fluff, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2020-10-27 09:37:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 32,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20758250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrekFlower/pseuds/Trekflower
Summary: "Hope for the best, but plan for the worst.It might as well be my catch phrase."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Stop and read parts 1-3 of [ Baby Spark](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1482173) first. If not read already. 
> 
> I did not intend to write such a long fic. I do not own Star Trek, but I am weak for J/C shipping. Enjoy!

So there I was, lying in sickbay, fully expecting to hear the news that I was dying due to my injuries. Or perhaps that the piece of the Delta Flyer lodged in my chest would mean I would never walk again without technological aid, unlikely as it was, my mind is always focused on the worst case scenario. _Hope for the best, but plan for the worst._ It might as well be my catch phrase. But my hope never stretched to the notion that I could be with child. When the Doctor informs me that I'm pregnant, the shock sends me into a tailspin of emotions. 

I'm pregnant.

I'm pregnant with Chakotay’s child.

I'm 5 weeks pregnant with _our_ child. 

My cheeks burn from grinning and my eyes irritated from the flood of tears. The universe has seen fit to make Chakotay and I parents, and all I can do is cry with joy. I was planning to hear the worst case scenario but I'm gifted with the best instead. 

Hindsight clears the memories of the past few weeks. My clothes shrinking around me, my mood short with Tom and the crew. My breasts ballooning, feeling like iron weights around my neck. I imagine it's only going to continue in the months to come, but it doesn't matter, because I am pregnant. 

Chakotay’s hand lies protectively over my lower abdomen. He strokes my hair gently whispering affirmations of love and affection for me and the baby. He holds my gaze. His eyes are an ocean of serenity, suspending this euphoric moment. I can’t stop smiling at him, nor he down at me. 

How did I get so lucky? How did I earn the love and devotion of this man? He is a worrier, a scholar, a lover. A symbol of what a man should be. And he is in love with _me_. 

The Doctor returns sometime later. He clears his photonic throat, breaking us of our affectionate display in his medical bay. "Captain, Commander, may I be the first to offer my congratulations. Would you be interested to know the gender of the baby?"

"You can tell this early?" Chakotay asked surprised. 

"Medical technology has advanced to the point that trained personnel can identify the gender, physical characteristics, and the likelihood of developing into identical twins or triplets only hours after conception," the Doctor explains. 

"I don't want to know Doctor," I blurt out before he can give it away. This baby is a happy surprise. I want to keep as much of it a surprise in this modern age. "All I want to know is if the baby is healthy and if I'm having more than one at a time." Chakotay is radiating with joy. 

"Very well," the Doc examines his notes. "The baby is healthy and you are currently carrying only one child, but your genetic markers indicate a 43 percent likelihood of having identical twins. Something to consider should you choose to continue to procreate after this child."

I laugh. I know he is merely delving out information. But the way he says it implies the assumption that Chakotay and I are going to start breeding like rabbits. Chakotay chuckles as well, I think he understands too that planning future offspring is a bit premature. 

"If that is all you wish to know then Captain, you are free to go. But, you are relieved of duty for the next 48 hours." He gives me a stern look. 

"This is one time Doctor, I'm not going to fight you on this." I sit up. There is a sharp pain in my chest, from the injury. A small gasp escapes at the sudden discomfort and Chakotay’s worried hand is on my back supporting me.

"I can give you an analgesic for the pain," the EMH reaches for a hypospray. 

"I'm fine," I wave him off. "It was just unexpected. No unnecessary drugs while I'm expecting." I smile through the pain.

_I am expecting._

"Then I will remind you, that goes for caffeine as well," he tells us. Chakotay helps me off the biobed. "I will send you a list of dietary restrictions, and a schedule for an exercise regimen. You will need to see me in 48 hours before I will allow you to return to duty."

"Understood Doctor," Chakotay answers for me. I lean into him, allowing his arms to hold me upright with my weakened legs. It is also an excuse to be close to him. "Should I call for a site to site transport?" he asks. 

I nod resting my head against his chest. I'm not ready to face all of Voyager just yet. I want to celebrate this joy one-on-one with my loving first officer.

=/\=

We rematerialize in my quarters. Chakotay scoops my legs up into his arms and carries me bride-style to the bed. My hand feathers across his jaw and I kiss him as we cross the threshold to my sleeping area.

"Do you want to start or should I?" he asks setting me down. He arranges the pillows behind me. 

"Go ahead."I say, slowly rest into fluffy bliss. 

Chakotay takes a deep breath. He gathers the hem of the medical gown sliding it up to gaze at my bare stomach. He is all grin and dimples. It fills me with delight to see him so happy. 

My belly looks no different. It is just as it was before the Doctor told us, and just as it was the last time he held me in this bed. Chakotay rests a hand on my skin. His warm touch stirs my blood even in my tired state. "Marry me Kathryn. Make me even happier then I am right now." 

Chakotay is not the first man to ask for my hand nor is he the first I will have said yes to either. But Chakotay will be the first man that I don't need to think about my answer. He will be the last man I will want to say yes to. He gave me a child, and I want to give him a wife. 

"Is that your only wish for our new parameters?" I flash him a lopsided grin. 

He leans in, capturing my lips in a powerful kiss. My hands grab the front of his jacket to keep him to me. I can taste the salt of our combined tears from earlier, his tongue dances with mine as he strokes over my stomach, my need for him building. 

We break and he adds, "all I want is to call you mine." His hand moves away from my stomach and I feel it at my cheek. 

"That is all I want too," I nuzzle into his touch.

Chakotay moves to the other side of the bed, kicking off his shoes. He pulls himself into my back, spooning me, and filling me with his warmth. We lay quietly embracing each other. My mind beings to wander to what the child will look like. If it will be a boy or a girl, if the child will be caring and have a gentle disposition like its father or my stubbornness. 

"Chakotay?" I call to him craning my neck. 

"Hmm," he answers kissing my temple. 

"I've thought of some parameters."

"Okay, let's hear them." 

"First, I think you should move into the captain’s quarters, it will be easier for you to prepare our meals. Second, we should move you in here as soon as possible." He squeezes me closer to him. I think he approves. "After an extended probationary period we can revisit the idea of having more children," I smile at him.

His eyes narrowed, the mischievous twinkle within his brown pools remind me of the first day that sparked this whole journey, the day I watched Chakotay care for a lost alien baby, the day he invited me to dinner, and the night we embarked on our new relationship. It was the day I discovered his attractive qualities were infinitely more irresistible when holding a baby, and soon his arms will be cradling his own child. 

He tries to hide his dimples from me when he speaks again. "Before I can agree, I need to know one thing.”

“What is that?”

“If I got the job?" 

"You got the job Commander, congratulations," I laugh.

=/\=

After a long shared bath and a long overdue nap, I sit at the dining table that is loaded with breakfast foods. There are scrambled eggs, a fruit mixture and blueberry muffins, all arranged in a manner for my easy access. In place of a coffee I'm given herbal tea, a blend Chakotay has had me try before that I didn't mind. Had I known being pregnant meant no more coffee, I would have savored my last cup more closely.

My stomach feels uneasy at the sight but it is not quite morning sickness yet, so I take advantage and eat some orange-banana fruit medley. "How should we tell the crew?" I ask between bites. 

"Well, there was my all-call-over-the-broadcast-system idea a few months ago." He gives me a wink. 

"Oh no, it feels way too impersonal. It also seems like we are forcing the whole ship to care about our personal lives." I shudder at the thought. 

He laughs, “It is both impersonal and too personal?”

My eyes roll at him. I have always kept a professional boundary with my crew, present company excluded, and announcing our engagement and expecting news seems like crossing that line. I can’t really explain why it feels that way. Years of constantly wearing my Captain's shroud has made me sensitive on this subject I guess.

"We could tell the senior staff and let Tom and Neelix take it from there." He chuckles, but it's not a half-bad idea. Word would spread quickly and it wouldn't be like we were rubbing the crews’ noses in our happiness. "Kathryn?" He catches me considering it. "The crew cares about you a great deal, they will want to know. They will want to hear it from you,” he assures me. “You are their Captain so it is hard for you to see just how much they respect and admire you.”

"Let's just start with the senior staff first. Okay?" I ask. It is easier to step over the boundary with them, as I already consider them friends and family.

"Alright," he replies dishing me out another helping of fruit, then pushes a basket of muffins closer to me. 

"Are you trying to fatten me up?" I teasingly scoff. 

"I consider it my new mission, right after keeping Voyager, you, and the baby safe," he says innocently. 

I select a muffin and lather it with butter. "Well you're off to a great start." I bite into the fluffy pastry. The muffin tastes even better than it appears, with meals like these to look forward to, I will never want to skip breakfast again.

=/\=

The Doctor gave me the go ahead to resume my duties, with the proviso that I keep the workload light. I agree, but there really is never a light day as Captain. First thing is to review the ship's reports during the time of my absence.

Nothing is out of the ordinary other than the three crewmen I took out on their first away mission. I'm pleased to see they are performing above their original expectations. Even crewman Celes isn't making nearly as many mistakes. Seven must be ecstatic with the efficiency increase. Well, as much as an ex-Borg can be anyway.

My door chimes and I beckon for the person to enter. Chakotay walks in to remind me it's time for the senior staff meeting. We agreed the sooner we make our announcement the better. 

My skin crawls with anticipation. I have no qualms for delivering bad or unfavorable news, even informing them of a death. If it relates to the job it doesn't bother me. 

But this?

Our announcement is extremely personal and it thoroughly crosses the working boundary. It will in essence affect all of Voyager and it's hard to know how my staff will handle the news.

“Are you ready Captain?” Chakotay asks. 

“Not really, but I suspect we won’t have too much time to drag this out.” I rub my upset stomach. 

“Silver lining, I can marry you that much sooner,” he grins and my spirits lift. Chakotay is definitely a glass half full kind of guy, I love that about him.

=/\=

Chakotay and I are the last to arrive in the briefing room. The crew falls quiet when we enter, only adding to my anxiety. _Is letting the secret slip to Mr. Paris still an option?_

I take my seat at the head of the teardrop shaped table. I have always found it a peculiar shape as all eyes shift to me, waiting to hear the words I don't know how to say. Chakotay ops for standing just off to my left flank. I feel his hand rest on my shoulder, bolstering my confidence. This may be our announcement but I must be the one to do the heavy lifting here. 

I see Tom and Harry exchange quizzical looks. Even if I chicken out now, the rumors those two will start would be impossible to correct once they reach the lower decks. Better let them hear it from the horse’s mouth. And better let them hear it before I start to show. 

I take a deep breath, a dull ache in my side as I do. "Commander Chakotay and I have an announcement," I begin, looking around the table. 

"After the recent analytical mission to the T-class Nebula, to which I am happy to see the improve performances of crew members Harren, Telfer, and Celes." I nod to Seven. 

_Good, start them off with ship business._

"You are correct Captain. Crewman Celes work has improved 73 percent since returning to the ship," Seven informs the group. 

"And Harren, has requested some additional assignments. He says the trivial work might unlock new theories he couldn't get down on deck 15," B'Elanna added, slightly annoyed. 

"I'm glad to hear it, because there are going to be a few changes coming Voyager's way." I pause. 

_How do I say this? _

"While the Doctor was patching me up," I downplay the injuries, they don't need to worry that I almost died, again. "He discovered that soon we will be taking on a new crew member."

"Captain, I was not aware we were in need of additional personnel. May I remind you, that protocol dictates that security clearance should be adjusted before their arrival." Tuvok comments. Ever the diligent officer that one. 

"That's the thing Tuvok. They are already aboard... they… just... won't be reporting for duty… for a while," I explain lacing my fingers together to hold my nerve. 

The staff is split between looks of confusion and those of awe. Tuvok continues with a perplexed look. Oh my God. Do I really need to spell it out for him? How he ever worked as an undercover operative, I’ll always wonder. 

"I'm pregnant," I blurt. 

Those who hadn't already figured it out were now with their mouths hung open. Even Tuvok's Vulcan discipline doesn't conceal his raised eyebrow of surprise. 

"This time, the baby is Chakotay's and is fully human," I add trying to lighten the mood. But no one moves to laugh. They all remain speechless, shifting looks between me and the Commander. 

Oh hell, this has to be the worst case scenario. They don't approve. They must think that I used my rank to force relations with my first officer. I feel a cold sweat down my back. If my senior staff can't understand, then how the hell is the rest of the ship going to adjust? I might have a mutiny on my hands. The crew will demand my removal for being selfish enough to find happiness while they are without their loved ones because of my actions. 

Tom is the first to act. He pushes away from the table, marching up to the Commander. Tom’s firm blue eyes glare down at the slightly shorter Chakotay. I turn staring at them, as is the whole room. "Are you going to make her an honest woman?" Tom asks. His chest puffed and his jaw tight. He looks so much like his father it is startling. Is Tom protecting my honor? The act comes right out the Admiral’s playbook. I recall my mentor being quite protective of me after being captured by the Cardassian. Admiral Paris would be proud of his son for taking on this task. 

Right now Tom looks about ready to rip the commander apart if he didn’t like Chakotay’s answer. Harry is to his feet as well, but I am unsure if he will back his commanding officer or his best friend in this fight. 

"Tom, you don't need to worry about me getting cold feet. I was ready to marry Kathryn the moment she let me into her life," he replies. 

Chakotay shifts his gaze from Tom to smile at me. He holds out a hand and I feel warmth spilling into my cheeks as I take it in front of the crew. Chakotay looks back to Paris. 

"Well alright then," Tom's face slides into a smile and shakes the commander's other hand. "I had to make sure, you weren't taking advantage of my Captain," he chuckled, breaking the room of all its tension. 

After the initial shock the room is filled with overwhelming joy for the pair of us. I'm starting to wonder what I was so worried about. Harry walks around to pat Chakotay on the back, Seven looks confused, and Neelix claps his hands in delight. Tuvok looks like Tuvok,and I've only seen B'Elanna smile this wide on her wedding day. All and all they seem to be okay with the news. Even the Doctor is beaming with pride even though he already knew. 

Chakotay is congratulated with handshakes but I am smothered with hugs, even Ensign Kim lets protocol drop for an embrace. Tuvok adopts the human custom as well. Neelix is at my side conveying his joy that Naomi will no longer be the only child on Voyager. 

"When is the wedding date Captain?" Neelix asks. "I will start making preparations at once. You don’t need to worry about a thing.” 

I catch Chakotay's eye from across the room. "I'll have to get back to you on that one," I smile the Talaxian.

“Just let me know. You should also know that as Morel Officer I am at your beck and call day or night should you need a babysitter. I have a lot of experience with my own goddaughter, Naomi.”

“That is very generous Neelix, I will-” Before I can finish my center of gravity suddenly shifts as the floor beneath me sways to one side. I catch myself before on the table, but the sound of the red alert is unmistakable as is the call for 'Captain to the bridge.'


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Star Trek Voyager: Trekflower AU....
> 
> Kathryn almost died on an away mission then found out she is having Chakotay's baby. The command team plan to get married. The senior staff was informed of the engagement and expecting baby before Voyager was hit by something in space....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to start using hand-waving science since I always liked that part about StarTrek, and it feels wrong to leave it out. 
> 
> I get nothing but your enjoyment, thus enjoy!

"Report," I call out charging across the bridge and firmly planting myself in the command chair. There were no more disruptions as the senior staff and I return to the bridge. But a trip to the floor is probably not recommended under my circumstances. 

"It appears we were hit by some sort of shockwave," Ensign Kim answers from OPS. "Captain, the warp core's antimatter mixture has spiked. The matter-antimatter reaction is increasing drastically, there will be a breech in 1 minute."

"Can you stop it?" I bark over the wail of the alarms. 

"We'd have to dump the excess antimatter, and shut down the core."

"Do it!"

Mr. Kim enters in the commands and we instantly drop out of warp. "Stand down red alert. What the hell just happened?" I ask to anyone that might have an idea. 

"I am unsure Captain, but the wave that hit us came from an M-class planet in a nearby solar system. Approximately 10 lightyears from our position," Kim says first . 

"That was a hell of a punch Mr. Kim. Any more information than that?" I ask. 

"Captain, sensors reading indicate that the shockwave appears to be moving faster as it is travelling away from us," Seven reports. 

"Now that is interesting," I utter to no one in particular. 

"Captain?" Chakotay questions. 

"Waves usually decrease in strength the further they travel from the original source. Even in the vacuum of space, the energy that is driving this force should dissipated over time. If this was an artificially created wave, and was created on purpose then perhaps it can be recreated. We could, in theory, ride the wave as it travelled and potentially maintain a speed comparable to our warp capabilities. If nothing else, we could save our own energy reserves for a short window of time," I explain to him.

"May I point out Captain, that whatever _that _was, our warp core did not care for it," Chakotay gently reminds me. 

"Do we have any information on the composition of that wave?" I direct my inquire to Seven. 

"No Captain, I can get a better analysis from astrometrics." 

"Go," I order. "If we have a better idea of what it is perhaps we can adjust the confinement field around the core," I say. 

_There is too much potential here to ignore._

"Are there any additional waves coming at us?" I ask determined to investigate. 

"Not at this time Captain," Harry answers.

"Well, if there are no more immediate threats I say we take a closer look shall we? Tom, set a course for the planet that originated the wave. Full impulse until the warp core is back.”

"Aye Captain," Tom answers making the appropriate calculations.

"Engage." 

I push myself out of the chair to stand, I want to review the sensor reading with Ensign Kim. Before I move dizziness overtakes me and I stumble back into my chair and press fingers into my temple. The act isn't lost on the Commander. 

"What's wrong?" He asks loudly enough to bring the whole bridge's attention to me. 

"I'm fine, I just stood up too quickly," I pat his extended arm. He's not buying it. I attempt once more to move with some grace, no dice. I make to stand again but my vision dims before I'm fully erect and Chakotay rushes to catch me by my arms. 

"Tuvok, you have the bridge," I hear him order. "I'm taking the Captain to sickbay."

"Aye sir," the diligent Vulcan replied. 

"Commander this isn't a good time, besides I have already seen the Doctor this morning," I try to argue. But my words are unsteady, if the senior staff didn't know better they might suspect me of being drunk. 

"This morning you weren't having fainting spells. I'm taking you now," his eyes narrow, his jaw set. He is displeased with me, but I did nothing wrong. 

I glance around the bridge, all eyes fall on me. My crew looks genuinely concerned at my disposition. Most captains would feel pride in how their crews band together. But right now they are ready to back the Commander over me on this, and _that_ I do not care for. 

"Fainting and getting lightheaded are two very different acts. But if you and the crew are willing to stage a mutiny over it? I'll go," I inform him trying to walk to the turbolift under my own power. I make it to the security station before my balance is thrown off. Tuvok, this time, corrects me. 

Damn, so much for waving this off. Could this be some sort of morning sickness? I don't feel the need to expel my stomach, but if my head keeps spinning I just might. Perhaps I am having withdrawals from my daily coffee, whatever this is, I'll go to the Doc and he'll clear me once again. Chakotay drapes an arm around my shoulders to guide me the rest of the way, he's not taking any chances this time with me or my precious cargo. 

=/\=

"And you say this is the first time this has happened?" The Doctor asks hovering his medical tricorder around my head. 

I nod, but Chakotay jumps in. "You got lightheaded before taking the Delta Flyer to the nebula."

"I hadn't eaten that morning," I explain. My drunken slur gone upon arriving to the medical bay.

"Well, I can't say for then, but now I'm afraid it wasn't entirely from the lack of food that caused your dizziness. My scans show you have severely low blood pressure. I assumed it was from the loss of blood with your injuries, but your pressure has dropped even further from this morning," he informs me. 

My jaw tightens and I rest a hand on my belly. "Is the baby alright?" 

"The baby is fine Captain. It's you I'm more concerned with. The female human body is designed to protect the fetus first. Which leaves the mother rather vulnerable." he sighs. "Captain, all I can recommend right now is rest and see how you progress. It is too soon to tell with your body's recent trauma, but this might just be a side effect of your pregnancy."

_That is not the answer I wish to hear. I have a ship to run, a job to do. _

"I was just on leave for two days Doctor, now you want to relieve me again? Why don't you just put me on bed rest now and hand the ship over to the men. They won't be bothered with growing a whole new life inside them," I yell, waving my arms about. I accidentally smack Chakotay along his jaw in my mania. I hate being put on leave. It's like a slap in the face for a commanding officer, basically saying we don't trust you enough to do your job.

I'm concerned for the baby of course. But the idea that I can't command this ship and have a baby too, makes me furious. Is the mindset of my senior staff stuck in the mid 20th century?

"Kathryn," Chakotay whispers in my ear. His hand runs the length of my back. The act instantly calming me. "The Doctor is just keeping you and the baby safe, that is _his_ job. If it bothers you that much we can put B'Elanna or Seven in charge while you rest." 

I glare at him but Chakotay's face is soft and sympathetic. Damn it. His soulful eyes tame my anger. I take a few tender breaths then I chuckle. My hand grazes his cheek where I hit him. "I'm sorry Chakotay, I don't know why I overreacted like that."

"Don't apologize. You are allowed to express your feelings, even if they may be slightly fueled by increased hormones. As a woman and as Voyager's Captain, you have the right to act any way you want," he kisses my forehead. 

"I would like you off your feet for the next 24 hours," the Doctor says. "I also would like you to wear this monitor. It will alert me when your pressure drops to dangerous levels. I suggest someone stay with you for the time being as you are considered a fall risk until your blood pressure is up," he instructs, placing a grey device on my wrist. 

"Thank you Doctor," I reply moving off the biobed. The Doc smiles and exits to his office before my hormonal fury can attack him again. 

Chakotay escorts me back to my room. I manage the walk without needing too much assistance, but Chakotay insists on walking arm and arm for the baby's safety. If he had it his way, I'm sure Chakotay would carry me all the way. However, I am not ready to have that image of us in the crews’ minds just yet.

=/\=

I try to rest while Chakotay sits by, but it's useless. My mind is split between the baby and the strange anomaly that could be very beneficial to Voyager. After 24 hours my numbers improve slightly, but nowhere near where they need to be to let me work. 

"I don't see the issue," I grumble. Chakotay brings me some food in bed. He's been following the Doctor's orders to the letter, "There are some days I do nothing but sit in my chair reading reports. I'll have you and the whole bridge staff to watch over me."

"Kathryn, I know you don't like it, but you need to learn to give up a little bit of control," Chakotay is stern. He'll tell me the truth even if I don't want to hear it. "Try focusing on something else, use this time to pick-out baby names."

The idea breaks me of my annoyance. "Do you have any ideas?"

"I like Lili or Emma for a girl," he grins stroking my belly. 

"And if it is a boy?" I run a hand up his arm. 

"Brad."

I burst out laughing, what an absurd name. He laughs with me, which is how I can tell he is not serious about the suggestion. 

His com badge chirps, lulling our collective amusement.

-Tuvok to Commander Chakotay-

"Go ahead," he sits back pulling his hand away.

-Sir, we have made contact with the planet. They wish to speak to the Captain.- 

My face brightens. First contact calls for the Captain to make the introductions. Surely I can do that from a chair. But Chakotay shakes his head reading my expressions. "The Captain is still on leave. I will be on the bridge shortly. Chakotay out."

Chakotay bends low to place a kiss on my stomach then one on my lips. “I love you Kathryn. Get some rest.” He stands exiting our quarters. “I'll be back shortly," he calls out before he's gone. 

_Yeah, easier said than done._

=/\=

Chakotay has been gone for several hours, not surprising as he is both acting Captain and First Officer. But my bladder is starting to cause me pain. I ignore it, try to wait as long as I can in the hopes he will be back soon. Another 20 minutes go by before I'm forced to call for help. 

For lack of a better option I contact Neelix, as he is the only one I can think of that is not busy analyzing the shockwave, or working on the warp core, or interacting with the inhabitants on the upcoming planet. I _could_ call the Doctor, but I have seen enough of him lately and don't want any more scans at the moment. My preferred option would be to go to the toilet by myself, but if I fainted and fell? Or if another shockwave hit us? I'm sure the next step in my safety plan would be to place me in a force field restraint in sickbay. 

The door chimes "Enter," I call to it. The happy little Talaxian bounces in caring something under a serving tray. 

"Captain, I'm honored you thought to call me. I brought with me some leola root pudding. Wonderful source of vitamins for you and baby," he sets the tray on the table. 

"Thank you Neelix, but I really called you here to make sure I don't faint when I stand up," I explain. 

"Are you alright Captain? Is there something wrong with the baby?" He rushes to my side. 

"Everything is fine, I just get dizzy when I stand. And I need to use the restroom, so if you don't mind babysitting me for a moment," I slowly stand up. Hopefully I won't need him, if I take my time. Fully erect I find that I was correct. 

"How do you feel Captain?" He looks concerned. 

"Like I need to empty my bladder," I smile, scurrying to the bathroom. 

I sit down and relieve myself, and not a moment too soon. Voyager shakes knocking some of my toiletries to the floor as it comes across what I could only assume is another shockwave. The shaking stops and Neelix's frantic voice echoes through the door. "Captain? Captain? Are you alright? Do you need help?"

"No Mr. Neelix, I'm okay," I call back quickly.

The sink is close enough I use it to pull myself upright, another successful stand. I might just be out of the woods on this whole fainting business. I glance at my reflection in the mirror. I can't help but notice my stomach looking fuller and my pants feeling a little tighter than they had been a moment ago. I expose my skin from under the grey shirt and rest my hands on a pronounced bump, feeling the skin tight with the expansion. 

It's odd what a little perspective will do. Just a few days ago I believe it was Chakotay's cooking that was making me fat. When in fact it is another part of him altogether that has me as I am. The thought of something growing inside me is tantalizing, too bad Chakotay is not the one waiting for me beyond the door. I return my clothes and head out to meet Neelix. 

"Captain can I interest you in some leola root pudding? It is quite the treat." He says enthusiastically. The fact that Voyager had been rocked just now was completely forgotten for him. 

"Sure, I'll just-" my words freeze and I am disoriented to the point I can't remain standing. The monitor around my wrist beeps a warning sound, but I can't even remember why I'm wearing it. Hands clasp around my arms and I'm eased to the floor.

"Neelix to the Doctor, medical emergency in the captain's quarters," I hear before blacking out.

=/\=

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos give me joy! Let me know what you think. Thanks for reading!
> 
> ...sorry to anyone named Brad


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Star Trek Voyager: Trekflower AU....
> 
> Voyager has altered course to investigate a wave the does not follow conventional physics, moving faster as it travels. The crew hopes this phenomenon could get them home faster. In the mean time the Captain's physical health is in question with the pregnancy...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not super happy with this chapter but I think I gotta let it go so I can continue onward with the story as a whole. Hopefully readers will get enjoyment out of it anyway. 
> 
> *Disclaimer: CBS and Paramount own Star Trek. I am just borrowing for fun. All I get is your enjoyment, :)

Chakotay arrived at the same time as the Doctor. He listens to Neelix's account of the events while watching anxiously as I’m scanned, by the Chief Medical Officer. The readings show nothing new, beyond my low blood pressure, which the Doctor continues to advise rest. But now he wants me under constant supervision, even while using the bathroom, which leaves me feeling a twinge of pathetic helplessness. The Doctor also expressed his desire to take me to sickbay for the night for observation, but I adamantly refuse. He may have the right to take away my command, but he will not take away any more of my dignity.

Chakotay’s worried glances will not change my mind. If there is no danger to the baby, then I'm staying put. The Doctor grumbles and leaves with Neelix on his heal. I'm so tired from the fuss of it all I just want to lay down and sleep. 

Chakotay leans against the bulkhead on the opposite side of the room. His arms crossed, wearing a look of worry along with anger. But truthfully he is cycling through a hundred more emotions I can't decipher. His gaze drifts to me then back at the floor several times, collecting his words before uttering a syllable. 

"Penny for your thoughts." I encourage him to sit on the bed, but he remains rooted in his spot. 

"I'm worried about you," his voice is quiet.

"Why?" I give a sympathetic smile. "That is what the Doctor is for."

"This is serious Kathryn," he snips. 

"You don’t think I know that? I have done everything the Doctor has instructed." Chakotay's head banks to the side as if to say _'oh really'_. "Lying here or there makes no difference. I'm wearing the monitor, other than that, what can I do? I'll be more relaxed in my quarters which can only help," I explain but he doesn't look convinced and frankly neither am I. 

"I don't want to go to sickbay because the truth is..." I pause steadying my nerves. "The truth is I'm scared. I'm scared that I am too old to have this baby and my body knows it, and I'm not ready to hear that just yet."

I look at the small bulge of my stomach, blinking back the tears. I play with a stray string at the hem of the shirt. Just like my emotions, if I pull too tightly it could destroy what holding the rest together. The weight of the bed shifts as Chakotay crawls in next to me. Gathering me in his arms, it is only then do I let the weight of my words sink in. _I'm too old and this baby won't make it._ I don't have the strength to hold back the tears anymore, they begin to flow and I crumble in Chakotay's embrace. 

"Whatever comes, I will be by your side. I love you," he whispers. "I hope we get to meet our child, but if the Spirits decide to meet them first, I'll be with you." 

_Hope for the best plan for the worst. I'm starting to rub off on him. _

After a while I drift into a deep sleep in his arms. Fatigue overtakes me, emotional stress coupled with low blood pressure will do that I guess. I'm amazed to see that it is the next day according to the chronometer. Chakotay is still with me when I wake. His protective arm hugging me close. This moment is so peaceful I don't want to ruin it with distressing thoughts of a miscarriage. So I do what I do best, focus on the work instead. 

"Did you make contact with the planet?" I ask. 

He acknowledges by snaking his hand through the clothes to find the bare skin of my stomach. Chakotay’s rough skin is warming, I’m tempted to guide him to more sensitive areas if only to forget the sad circumstances we are faced with.

"We did, turns out the shockwave was part of a subtemporal experiment. They were trying to produce a type of temporal wave that could, in essence, increase their warp engines." Chakotay explains while drawing circles in my flesh. "The people are called the Shashin and have a max capability of warp 6. B'Elanna would like to observe the experiment to see if it is something that we could use."

"Sounds promising, I would like to observe the next experiment as well. But I have a feeling my doctor will disapprove." 

"As do I," he plants a kiss at the nape of my neck. His lips send a lustful surge through me, an easy task as my pregnancy hormones run unchecked. I want the sorrow to drift away. I want to feel happiness and pleasure. I'm already lying down, so if I faint what is the worst that could happen?

I can’t take the lingering strokes anymore, I guide Chakotay's hand further south of my belly. He slowly begins the rhythm I crave and I can feel his need building from behind. My mind drifts at the sensation, my worries floating away. He has me rolling my eyes, but he stops just as soon as he starts. Chakotay pulls away removing all touch and warmth. He breathes deeply and shuts his eyes.

"What's wrong?" I ask with displeasure. 

"This is not a good idea Kathryn... Not when your sick," he says between breaths. 

I roll to him, bringing a leg over his hip. He is in need, his pants look uncomfortable at his growth. His eyes are dark on mine. 

"I only faint when I'm standing, and what better way to keep me from getting out of bed," I wet my lips and rub a hand across his chest. I've gotten much better at flirting, well, I have gotten better at getting the desired response out of Chakotay. 

He doesn't react. 

"Listen, I am doing this with or without you... I'd prefer the latter." I draw myself up taking his mouth, plunging my tongue within to encourage him. 

I may have no control over this ship, or my changing body, but I will control this moment. I want to release and relax. I want what only he can expertly give me. 

Chakotay makes no move to deepen our kiss or further my advances. 

"Have it your way then," I growl. The hand that was on his chest moves to my breast then it slides slowly down my stomach. I watch him as his gaze is fixed on the descent, giving him time to savor the view and the thought of what I'm about to do to myself. I dip below my pants and am almost between my thighs when I am stilled by his strong hand. Thank God he didn't call my bluff, his touch is so much more pleasing than my own. Chakotay finds his way to my center. He moves me onto my back to achieve better access. 

I _will_ have this moment.

=/\=

I wake from another long nap, my clothes are gone as is Chakotay. Which is a shame since I need to use the restroom. I throw off the covers and slowly sit up, pulling my legs over the edge.

I look down at my naked body. It must be the angle or my tired vision, but I look larger now then when I went to sleep. My heart skips a beat with the tiniest of hopes that it is a sign that the baby is growing healthy and strong despite my worries. I stretch, feeling the ache in my hips while my breasts tingle from soreness. Could it be another sign of the baby growing or do our passionate nights need to be tempered while I'm pregnant? Whichever, I will happily accept if it means all is well. 

"Chakotay?" I call out, hoping he's not too far. 

I hear footsteps and quickly grab the covers in case it's someone else, but the bronze skin of Chakotay’s naked torso appears. He walks in carrying a tray of food and a smile. "Hello beautiful," he sets down the tray then gives me a kiss. I take it greedily, running my hands up his bare arms and letting the sheet fall. 

When we part I can't help but ask. " Do I look bigger?" 

He smiles at me, "you're pregnant Kathryn, it's going to happen. It means the baby is growing and your body is letting it grow." I blush at the conformation of my suspicions. 

"I know but I look like I doubled in size overnight," I gesture to myself. 

He steps back, and takes a good look at my form. "I think you are not accustomed to eating three square meals, _plus_ your eating for two," his dimples deepen. I’m sure he is pleased with himself for knowing he is slowly turning me into a fertility goddess, and I can see his excitement as he studies my naked form. 

To be honest I don't mind the shirtless look with pajama bottoms. My worries, though still founded, are distant in my mind once again as his pants tent while he stares down at me. Despite my aches, I still crave more.

"I need to use the bathroom first. Then we can address your issues ," flashing him a grin, my eyes dart to his lower half.

=/\=

Two days go by without incident from my body or dangerous drops in my blood pressure. The Doctor assures us that though I am older, a miscarriage is highly unlikely. In fact the Doctor notes that the baby is rather large for its age. He attributes it to Chakotay's genetics and my small frame for the discrepancy.

Although I am not getting any worse, Chakotay and I make the decision to let him take command until I am 'out of the woods'. The Doctor was tickled pink with the news of the arrangement, at least would have been if he were programmed with such a response. 

The change in command comes not a moment too soon as we enter orbit of the Shashin home world. The crew is a buzz with the upcoming experiment as it could potentially help Voyager in our travels. Engineering teams work around the clock to fine-tune the specific adjustments to the shields, while science teams work with the Shashin scientist to understand their technology. Chakotay has been so worn down with the extra duties, I worry he is spreading himself too thin taking this all on. I suggest he promote someone to Acting First Officer for the time being. 

"Tuvok is the most senior officer, and would have been XO had it not been for me," Chakotay says that evening. 

"I have known Tuvok for 20 years and he is a fine security officer, but he lacks the delicate sympathetic ear that a first officer needs in the Delta Quadrant," I explain. 

"True, I spend half the time acting as a ship's counselor," he sighs falling into the couch next to me. "I need someone that people can feel they can open up to, but can also respect as a commanding officer."

"You left some big shoes to fill,"I massage the muscles in his neck. He looks exhausted, I've known the burden of command for years. But Chakotay has only been at it for three days. I wish I could do more for him, _hell_ I wish I was doing my job so he wouldn't have to. 

"What about Ayala, he was first officer on the Val Jean?" I suggest. 

"The Val Jean was a _Maquis_ ship. On Voyager he likes to keep to himself. I don't want to force this on him." He stares up at the ceiling thinking. Chakotay is making this too hard, he'd rather carry everyone's burden then make a terrible choice. "What about...Tom?" 

"Paris? Interesting idea."

"Tom has a lot of potential. He rises to the challenge when pushed, I mean just look how far he has come over the years. He's not afraid to speak his mind and his betting pools lighten the crews’ spirits," he explains. 

"I think you might be right," my hand moves through his hair. 

"I'm acting Captain, I'm always right," Chakotay turns to give me a wink. I swat at him playfully. I'm glad the Captain’s chair hasn't taken his sense of humor. "Are you hungry?" he asks. 

"Always," I chuckle, patting my belly.

=/\=

The next day Chakotay sneaks me onto the bridge to observe the Shashin experiment. I promised to be there only as an observer, and I sit quietly in my chair watching Chakotay take point.

If I continue to improve hopefully I will be back to work and be able to analyze the data myself. A wave that gains speed as it travels through space is a unique phenomenon. Perhaps crewman Harren would like to be brought in to theorize with me. Simultaneously I wonder how the wave's energy is dispersed if it does not follow conventional physics. Many of my questions should be answered soon, I just need to be patient. 

"Commander, the Shashin science vessel is ready to produce the Subtemporal Thorium wave," Ensign Kim informs the bridge.

Thorium? My interest peaks further. On Earth it is a lightweight radioactive metal, the Shashin must have developed a way to refine it and turn it into a suitable energy source. 

"Thank you, on the viewscreen," Chakotay orders. 

The small circular science vessel appears. It's barely larger than a standard Starfleet Runabout. Remarkable this little ship was able to produce a wave powerful enough to knock Voyager around from 10 lightyears away. This technology could greatly help the Shashin with their space exploration, and has the potential to make Voyager's journey home faster. 

"All hands brace for impact," Chakotay orders, returning to his seat. I grip the arm rests and watch. The ship's forward deflector array starts to glow blue as it builds power. 

"20 seconds from releasing the wave," Tom informs the bridge. I chance a look at the Commander. He gives me a wink and places a hand over mine.

The vessel unleashes the energy stored in a green wall that travels outward from the dish. The force strikes Voyager, rocking it from side to side as expected. This time however, our shields have been adjusted to let the energy pass through with less disruption than before. 

"Are you monitoring the speed and distance of the wave Ensign?" I ask, sheepishly grinning at Chakotay. I can't help but take command. 

"Yes Captain," Harry says. I shift slightly to look Harry's way, but a sharp pain in my abdomen stops me.

My grip bares down on the chair and I cry out from the discomfort. My veins are on fire and searing agony spreads rapidly throughout my body. Doubling over I think I am going to be sick. My vision tunnels and I pray to blackout quickly. The last thing I recall is Chakotay shouting my name and the pull of an emergency transport.

=/\=

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love getting comments and Kudos, they are the wind beneath my wings to keep me writing. Thanks for reading !


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Star Trek Voyager: Trekflower AU....
> 
> Acting Captain Chakotay has made contact with a race known as the Shashin, whom are conducting experiments with subtemporal waves. Meanwhile Kathryn's low blood pressure and sudden stomach pains are major concerns for the baby's safety...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Disclaimer: CBS and Paramount own Star Trek. I am just borrowing for fun. All I get is your enjoyment, :)

My ears are assaulted by the steady beeping of monitors around the room. My hips and back ache from the stiff padded bed were I lay. Groggily becoming aware of the annoying familiarity of sickbay, with a weight pressing down on my lower abdomen, is not ideal. I shift slightly, my arms run into the hard plastic of the clamshell displaying my vital signs above the biobed. The lightweight airiness of the green medical gown replaces the clothing I had last put on. 

I glance around and see Seven hard at work at one of the medical stations. The Doctor is absent and the hum of the ship tells me we are at high warp. My movements deactivate the dome encasing me and I'm free to bring a hand to my throbbing head, for whatever good it will do. 

"Captain you are awake," Seven sounds surprised. 

"Yes, Seven I'm awake." I struggle to sit up, the weight on my stomach makes it difficult. At first I thought it was Chakotay's protective hand, but he is nowhere in the room. I manage to sit up part way before confronting the sight of the pressure pushing down on me. Covered in the green medical gown, rising and falling with my breath, my gaze is fixed on my sizably enlarged stomach. 

_Oh my God. My belly is the size of a basketball. Was I in a coma? What the hell happened?_

I pull back the gown to view the stretch-marked skin beneath. I tentatively lay a palm on my flesh, feeling the craters were my skin has been pulled apart. Without warning I feel a thud against my hand causing me to jump.

_Was that...did the baby just move?_

My heart pounds and the monitors in the room beep uncontrollably. The chaotic sound stresses me further. "Doctor, your attention is needed," Seven calls out moving to my side. "Captain you must remain calm. I believe you may be experiencing a panic attack," she tells me. 

The EMH appears from his office,"Captain, take slow deep breaths." He and Seven try to lay me back down. 

"What...happened?" I ask between breaths. My heart is fluttering and I feel ready to bolt. Adrenalin is surging through my veins, and I am covered in a cold sweat. 

"You blacked out after the Shashin's experimental shockwave passed through the ship. You've been in sickbay for the last 46 hours," he explains.

I shoot him a terrified look. Did he just say 46 hours? How could it have been only 46 hours when I look ready to go into labor at any minute? I'm only 6 weeks pregnant, the baby _should_ only be 6 weeks. The baby _should_ be the size of a pea.

_What the hell is wrong with me, what the hell is wrong with the baby? _

I fight against the Doctor and Seven. " I want to leave, I need to go," I shout. Their hands plus my enlarge state make it difficult to get out of the biobed. 

"Captain, that is unwise. We need to monitor the Borg nanoprobes," Seven explains with a metallic tone. 

I fight against them with more determination, the EMH reaches for a hypospray. The Doctor wants to put me back to sleep, I just know it.If I go to sleep, the next time I wake the baby will be gone.

_The baby is only supposed to be the size of a pea, it is too big. I can't let him put me to sleep. I can't lose the baby. _

"Doctor to Commander Chakotay," he shouts. 

-Go ahead-

"You are needed in sickbay right away, the Captain's awake."

-I'll be right there- 

"This isn't right, I need to go. I won't let you assimilate my child! Get away from me," I shriek at Seven and the Doctor.

_That has to be it. Why else would I need Borg nanoprobes? This was Seven’s plan this whole time, earn my trust, then assimilate Voyager. She is going to hand us over to the Queen, starting with my baby. Seven has reprogrammed the EMH to assist her in taking over the ship._

"You are incorrect Captain, the Borg nanoprobes are not programmed with that objective," she says, holding my left shoulder and wrist so tightly, I feel them bruising already.

_She is lying. She is Borg, resistance is futile. But I will resist, with every fiber of my being I will resist for my child. The Borg can have me but not my baby._

Chakotay's face slays my terror. He bolts to me. Seven and the Doctor relinquish their hold and Chakotay consumes me fully in his safe arms. "Thank the Spirits," he says rocking me gently from side to side. I bury my face in his chest, clinging to the front of his uniform. 

"The baby... Chakotay...Borg," I can't get it all out. His hand runs circles in my aching back, he kisses the top of my head. 

"It's going to be okay Kathryn," his soothing voice in my ear. "Everything is fine. The baby is good and strong and you are awake, which is good. The Spirits are looking over us." I feel myself trembling. 

"Seven is trying to assimilate the baby," my voice is muffled against him. 

"No Kathryn," Chakotay's says firmly. "Seven has worked with the Doctor nonstop to help our child." I hear the words but I'm having trouble comprehending, while my breath slowly syncs with Chakotay's. 

"How did this happen?" I ask. My view submerged in his jacket.

"The Doctor believes it was the Tetryon radiation produced in the experiment," Chakotay says. I feel the comforting vibrations in his chest as he speaks. "The baby is healthy and developing perfectly normal, but while you were asleep, it was rapidly growing.  
The baby is now approximately 27 weeks along."

"So, what, am I going to give birth tomorrow?" I ask genuinely concerned. 

"No," I hear the Doctor’s voice. "The radiation your body adsorb only affected the fetus because it was already in a state of development. Once we figured that out, we reprogrammed some of Seven's Borg nanoprobes to identify and eliminate the radiation in your uterus."

"Kathryn, the only alternative would have terminated the pregnancy," Chakotay adds. 

The Doctor continues, "with the help of Seven, we were able to eradicate the radiation without causing any harm to the child. The baby's natural development is back to its normal timeline for humans." 

"When we discovered it was the experiment that did this I had Voyager evacuate Shashin space at maximum warp. We will be clear of any more of their shockwaves in a few hours. The scientist assured me they will postpone any future attempts, seeing what it has done on our species," Chakotay says.

My brain can't form words. If I speak I fear the terror will creep back into my veins. I stay buried in his chest, his arms pressing me in close, protecting me from this nightmare.

"Captain, this must all seem terrifying for you," I hear Seven's controlled tone. "Your body's hormonal levels are elevated considerably given the baby's rapid development. Do not worry. Your hormones will balance out over the next few days, and the nanoprobes will leave your system in the next 14 hours. That is unless they detect any more radiation particles." 

"Until that time, I want to monitor you and baby," the Doctor says. 

"Will you stay with me?" I ask Chakotay. I do not believe my nerves could handle the stress of being alone, nor do I trust being alone with Seven and the easily corruptible Doctor. 

"Just try to keep me away," he answers.

=/\=

Chakotay strokes my hair as he sits with me. It has been 15 hours and as promised all Borg nanoprobes were removed from my system. Anxiety is still at the helm of my thoughts, but Chakotay's presence tames my worries from running too wild.

Once the adrenaline settles I realize that my belief in Seven's allegiance to the Borg Queen was outlandish and wrong. Chakotay asked her to give us privacy long ago, but I feel ashamed for what I said to her earlier. She deserves an apology once I am able to give it.

"Kathryn, tell me what your thinking," Chakotay whispers even though we are alone, apart from the Doctor in his office. 

"That I need to talk to Seven, once I'm cleared to leave," I answer. 

"Seven understands the situation. I could talk to her if you want." His fingers move from my hair to my cheek. 

"No, it needs to come from me. I always had faith in Seven, even when she didn't have it for herself. Seven’s biggest advocate just accused her of trying to assimilate an unborn child. She could see it as a betrayal of her personal growth as an individual. I need her to know that I do trust her, with my life and our child," I explain rubbing my enormous belly. "It's my job."

"As Captain?"

"As her friend."

Chakotay's hand meet mine and there is a distinctive thud against my flesh. His face brightens in awe and his joy fills the room. "Silver lining, we get to meet our child that much sooner," Chakotay says smiling. "Also you don't need to suffer nearly as long."

"Chakotay, I wanted to experience the joy of carrying a baby, suffering and all."

Since waking I have been lying on my side to alleviate the pain in my back from the stiff medical bed. A watermelon sized belly makes it difficult on the narrow exam table. It is certainly uncomfortable now, but it pains my heart to know that I never experienced morning sickness, nor patiently watched as I began to show. I woke up with most of the process done, and I'll never get that back. 

"There is plenty of time still to suffer. Three months I'm sure is going to feel like an eternity for you."

"I guess. We are technically still in a probationary period," a smile dances on my lips and Chakotay kisses my forehead. 

The EMH joins us with a PADD in hand. "Captain, I would like to take one more scan of you and baby." I nod and shift slightly. He activates the overhead display that encloses over my torso and studies the readings. "As I suspected your body’s blood pressure has returned to normal."

"Was my fainting from the radiation?" I ask squeezing Chakotay's hand. 

"I believe so, the baby's accelerated growth was insignificant for medical tricorders to detect at first. But your body knew to divert extra resources to its development, hence your low blood pressure. Like I've said before, the human body is designed to protect the fetus first."

I breathe a sigh of relief. 

"The baby looks perfectly healthy, and should arrive sometime in the next 13 weeks. Your hormones are still elevated above were they should be, so you may continue to experience extreme mood swings." The Doctor deactivates the clamshell and I am allowed to sit up. 

_Extreme mood swings? Is that what he is going to call it? It was more akin to full blown paranoia with Seven. _

"I have prepared some new-parent reading materials for the two of you," he hands the PADD to the Commander. "If you have any questions, you know where to find me. Other than that Captain, you are free to leave." 

"Thank you Doctor, for all that you've done for me and my child."

"You are welcome Captain, I just hope you see Seven's contribution in all this as well.”

"Yes. I do now," I pat his photonic shoulder.

=/\=

Walking back from sickbay was awkward with the dramatic shift in my center of gravity. It is as if I am learning to walk for the first time. I held on to Chakotay's arm while waddling back and forth, still in the green medical gown, since I had nothing that would fit. I wasn't supposed to need maternity wear for a while. My precious replicator coffee rations will need to go towards a new wardrobe I suppose.

Back in my room, I pick out a short sleeve red tunic and black leggings from the replicator, before freshening up in the sonic shower. Afterwards, I find Chakotay waiting at the table with some food. I take a seat before my ankles give out from the strain of standing too long. He serves me some fruit and I smile at him. "I believe your mission is complete Commander, you have sufficiently fattened me up," I tease resting a hand on my blossoming stomach. 

His dimples deepen and he chuckles. "With all do respect, _Captain_, there is still plenty of time before the mission is over." 

"Well since there is no hiding the facts now, I think we should get married soon. Before I'm too big to fit into a wedding dress," I say taking a bite of a tart BlackBerry.

"We could always have a Betazoid themed wedding," the mischievous twinkle in his eyes focus on me. 

"I think Harry would die of embarrassment if he saw his Captain and commanding officer naked," I chuckle. 

"Probably goes up there with walking in on your mom and dad making love," he winks. 

"I suppose Tuvok will marry us."

"Sounds logical. Any thoughts who should give you away?"

When I was engaged to Mark, I imagined my mother walking me down the aisle with Phoebe as my maid-of-honor. I'm sad they won't get to be apart of our big day, hell they don't even know Chakotay and I are engaged and pregnant. My Voyager family will have to stand in their place, and who better to walk with me then the young woman that saved my child. "Seven," I answer. 

"Okay, Seven of Nine it is. If you don't mind I want to arrange the date of the ceremony," his tone is all business. 

"That's fine by me, you are still _acting_ Captain."

Chakotay stands and moves to me. He cups my face with both hands and captures my lips with his. The act is loving yet passionate as though we have been separated for ages. When we break he sinks to one knee to place a tender kiss on my stomach. "And, acting captain's are always right," he smiles up at me.

I laugh at him, my fingers dance across his tattoo. 

"I love you Kathryn."

"I love you too Chakotay. But from one Captain to another, please don’t take too long picking a date." I rub an ache in the side of my abdomen. 

Chakotay gives me a familiar, “aye Captain,” before kissing the back of my hand.

How did I deserve such love? All I know is that I want the rest of my life to be with him.

=/\=

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love getting comments and Kudos, they really do keep me writing. I appreciate your thoughts. Thanks for reading !


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Star Trek Voyager: Trekflower AU....
> 
> The subtemporal wave of the Shashin experiment had strange effects on the Captain's baby, advancing its growth across several months in the matter of hours. But with the Shashin well behind them. Kathryn and Chakotay can now look forward to more pleasant matters such as their future wedding...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took so long, life and motivation were not on my side to be more timely. Hope you all enjoy. 
> 
> *Disclaimer: CBS and Paramount own Star Trek. I am just borrowing for fun. All I get is your enjoyment, :)

Neelix had arranged this little impromptu get together for which I am the center of attention. He meant well but with the heartburn in my chest and my considerably small bladder size these days, I am practically counting the minutes till it's over. Mr. Neelix had surprised Chakotay and I with a duel wedding and baby shower all in one. Seeing as both the baby and wedding are due sooner than expected, he wasted no time to throw a celebration.

Much of the crew filtered in and out of the Irish pub of the newly favored Fair Haven holodeck program. It is such a small room that some of the characters were removed to make space for the festivities. We are congratulated and I already have a line of volunteers to babysit Voyager’s newest crew member when they arrive. Besides the heartburn, I feel pride in my chest for the crews support in all of this. Though I am in the dark about many of the wedding details, Chakotay promises the wait will be well worth it.

I am not one for surprises, but Chakotay's treats always soar beyond my expectations and I'm usually at a loss for words to his thoughtfulness. The bathtub on New Earth. The hand picked roses after my brush with death. Our first off-ship date to the arboretum on the Markonian outpost. It's hard to believe all this love is meant for me, and soon our baby. It seems like yesterday when I watched Chakotay care for an alien child, which sparked this whole adventure.

I recall that night being so nervous to meet him for dinner, recounting the way he looked holding a baby. It was the same night he kissed me for the first time. It was the night he stopped me before I could shy away behind the excuse of duty and my title yet again. I'm so very grateful he helped me over that barrier because now he is the father of my child, and he is going to be my husband.

As to the matter of the wedding, I am given no details about the ceremony itself, but I am tasked with arranging the reception afterwards with the one person, that is quite possibly, more enthusiastic about the upcoming nuptials then we are. The cheerful Talaxian bounces over to check, _once again_, that I'm alright and to remind me of our appointment to begin planning arrangements tomorrow. Just as he has appointed himself Morale Officer, Neelix has now elected himself my personal nutritionist, exercise partner, and all around 'go-fur' when Chakotay is on duty. 

It has been only 2 days and I appreciate the thought, but what I wouldn't give for a little Neelix free time. He has so much energy it is as though I have a toddler on my hands. I can only hope that once decisions are made tomorrow he'll be kept busy making the arrangements. 

"Chakotay, have you seen Seven?" I ask, straining to look around the pub. My ankles can't take the strain of heels thus I must rely on his height to be my eyes in the crowd. The party has been in full swing for nearly 2 hours, and we have yet to see the person I am most eager to talk to.

With much of my time filled with adjusting to my dramatically changed body, and working through the readings the Doctor has given me, I have not found a moment to apologized to Seven yet. When faced with the reality of the events in sickbay, my outrageous believes that Seven was trying to assimilate my child, a weight of shame overtook me. The guilt presses down just as much as my enlarged stomach. Though my words were the ramblings of a paranoid hormonally driven panic attack, Seven still deserves to know that in _my right mind_ I meant absolutely nothing by it. I also hoped that, should she forgive me, she would consider being my maid of honor, a spot I had only ever considered my sister to fill. It is a lot to ask, but I do consider her part of my Voyager family. 

Through the crowd I spot B'Elanna and Tom as they make their way to us. "Captain. Acting Captain," Tom says to us with his boyish smile. I see B'Elanna roll her eyes at him, but I can't help but laugh. 

"Acting First Officer," I return the greeting. "New duties keeping you out of trouble?" 

"Tom certainly has been excelling at his new job," Chakotay tells us. 

"I'm glad to hear it. Maternity leave is fast approaching. Of course, I was never technically 'okayed' to return to duty," I say to the group. Chakotay wraps an arm around me and kisses my temple, he certainly doesn't mind public displays of affection. And it appears neither does Tom or B'Elanna as they exchange a glance and a smile. 

"My compliments to you Tom, your Fair Haven program is very detailed, and seems to be quite popular," I tell him. 

"Thank you Captain, I'm glad everyone is enjoying it but I have had some suggestions for improvements."

"Such as?"

"Well, I've been approached by a few female crew members, who would like me to delete Michael Sullivan's wife," he chuckles. I glance over at the bartender serving drinks beside Mr. Neelix. He is a good looking holo character. If he were a few centimeters taller, and I wasn't with Chakotay, I might have some modifications for Mr. Sullivan myself.

I feel a squeeze on my elbow and bring my view back to Chakotay. He is grinning at me, with that mischievous look in his eye. Damn. He just caught me staring at another man. 

"I'm sure you'll think of something to accommodate everyone Tom," Chakotay winks at him. "That reminds me B'Elanna, I have a favor to ask."

"What is it?"

"Well, since you’re my oldest friend on Voyager, I was hoping you would consider being my best man at our wedding." 

"I'm honored but I don't know exactly what that entails," she answered directly. 

Chakotay chuckles dropping his head with a grin. "Basically you would stand by my side at the wedding and make sure I don't get cold feet."

B'Elanna’s eyebrows rise into her Klingon ridges. "If you got cold feet on our Captain, I might just have to warm them with some phaser fire. And I would do that even without the title." 

"I didn't realize I needed a shotgun wedding," I say and we all laugh.

"Don't worry Captain, the whole ship will make sure he is there and on time," Tom adds patting Chakotay on the back.

=/\=

I am disappointed that Seven did not join the celebrations in the holodeck. She has been willing to participate in social functions before, despite her vocal protests of them being an inefficient use of her time. Clearly our last encounter must be lingering in her mind as it is mine. Voyager is a small ship, she can't avoid me forever.

I decide to comm Seven and ask for a meeting in my quarters. She should be arriving any minute. I replicate a pot of tea and a pair of cups. Hopefully the hot beverage will aid in breaking the ice-wall that stands between us while we talk. The door chimes and I call out "Enter."

Seven walks in just far enough for the door to close. She stands with her arms behind her, shoulders square, and a neutral expression to her brow as if waiting to hear orders. "You wished to speak with me Captain."

"Yes. Please, come sit with me on the couch," I attempt to lift the tray from the replicator, but like me these days, it's big and bulky. 

"Do you require assistance?" 

"Thank you, that would be lovely," I release my hold, stepping back. Seven collects the tray without effort then follows me to the couch below the viewport. I fall back onto the low seat, closing my eyes to gather myself for a moment. Growing a new life is exhausting work. Seven places the tray on the table and gracefully sits next to me. 

"Seven, I asked you here because I wanted to have a chat. I first want to apologize for my behavior in sickbay," I begin. 

"Captain you were under an extreme hormonal imbalance. You do not need to apologize for your malfunction," she says in a matter-of-fact tone. 

"Yes I do," I rest a hand along her arm. "You may know the facts but I don't think you know how I felt."

"You were scared and disoriented from the accident. You were acting to protect your child."

"Yes but I feel ashamed, that in my emotional state, I didn't trust you." Her Borg implant along her brow lifts. "You have grown into an amazing unique individual, an asset to Voyager, and I have come to think of us as friends."

Seven sits quietly for a moment, this is a lot of human emotions she is taking in. I watch her as her eyes dart back and forth processing the information. Finally she speaks, "I too consider you a friend Captain." 

"I'm so pleased," I say before wincing at a discomforting movement in my stomach. 

"Captain, are you alright?" 

I take Seven's hand and guide it to my belly, her Borg implants give off a cooling sensation. "The baby is kicking. The baby is alive and strong because of _you_ Seven. My child will survive because of you," tears begin to wet my eyes. 

"Captain, you are distressed!"

"Tears of joy Seven," I assure her.

"The child is considerably active," she says in awe, studying my abdomen. 

"Yes well it would seem I have a real hellraiser on my hands. They get that from my side," I laugh giving her a wink.

Seven cocked her head to the side at my remark, "I do not follow Captain."

"Figure of speech," I say sitting forward, flipping the overturned cups to pour us some tea. "Now, if you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I have another matter I wish to discuss with you."

=/\=

Mr. Neelix's arms were loaded with PADD's that contained his comprehensive research on wedding traditions and customs common to the Alpha Quadrant. Self prescribed wedding planner was not a hard sell for him. He even included some Talaxian customs he thought Chakotay and I might enjoy. However I’m not sure how I feel about the crew kissing Chakotay’s and my combined hands as acceptance of our union.

"Come now Captain, you must have some thoughts?" Neelix frowns at me. 

"I don’t want anything grand. We are still on a ship a long way from home, with limited resources. We can't afford a week long Hindu celebration," I sigh rubbing my belly to keep from scratching at the dry stretched skin. 

We sit in the mess hall, waiting for Chakotay to make an appearance. I don't want to start without him and I certainly don't want to choose anything that might offend any of his people’s traditions. The only thing I can manage to decide on are the flowers, purple and pink lilacs. At half past the hour Chakotay was supposed to meet us, I trouble Neelix for a snack. "The kitchen is always open for you Captain, what shall it be? Talaxian lasagna or I have a Goriang blood sausage, but don't worry it's not real blood," he laughed a toothy smile at me. 

"Actually I'm craving some Leola root chocolate pudding." I can't believe I developed a taste for the foul root, but pregnancy taste buds sure do have a mind of their own. 

"Rightaway Captain," he scurried to the back. Just as he is out of sight Chakotay makes an appearance through the sliding doors. 

"Sorry I'm late, lost track of time," he huffs giving me a kiss before taking a seat next to me, resting a hand on my stomach. "I can't believe how much paperwork you've had to go through all these years."

"Now you'll be a little more sympathetic when I'm running late," I trace my hand over his.

"Oh believe me. I will," he smiles. "And how are _we_ doing today?" The baby started bobbing around to their father's touch. Or maybe its excitement comes from my quickened heart as I take a deeper kiss from him before Neelix returns. 

"Oh Commander," Neelix greeted returning to the table. "I was just bringing the Captain some Leola root pudding, would you care for some?"

"That is very kind but I’ll pass for now."

"Very well, shall we begin by picking out a theme for the reception?" Neelix hands me the pudding then settles in behind the pile of PADD's. 

I take a deep breath because honestly I have no idea. I only care about the_ 'spending the rest of my life with Chakotay'_ part of this. The actual marriage part. The part Chakotay has shrouded in secrecy. 

Chakotay must sense my reluctance. "Neelix could you give us a minute?"

"Certainly," he looks between us. "I'll just be in the back preparing tonight's vegetables. Just give me a holler when you're ready."

I dig into the pudding, as Chakotay turns his whole body to look at me. His face is neutral, the kind of look that begins our less pleasant conversations. But two can play at this game. I wait for him to start while I eat. 

"Kathryn?"

"Hmmmm?" My focus on the snack. 

"What's wrong?" He moves a hand to the back of my chair leaning in. 

"Nothing at all." I roll my eyes at him. 

"Try again," he says sternly. 

This gets my attention. My goodness, he is going to be an amazing father. I place my pudding on the table with a sigh then turn into his browne gaze. "I don't really care about a wedding reception, it seems grandiose and in poor taste given Voyager's situation."

"I disagree. It is _because_ of Voyager's situation that a reception is needed. The wedding is for us Kathryn, but the reception is for the crew. They want to celebrate _us_, they want to be apart of our special day," Chakotay explains. "If you deny the crew this, then your keeping them at arm's length and I know you think of them as more than that. This ship has become our extended family, and it will be the first family our baby will know. If you need motivation, think of it as your duty to the crew to boost morale."

_Damn it. He knows I'll do anything for the crew in the name of duty._ Once again, he is right and I feel a little silly for my worries. 

"Thank you," I answer resting a hand on his knee. 

"Anytime Captain," he collects my hand bringing it to his lips. "I believe we are still missing something though." 

I raise an eyebrow. 

He reaches for his pocket and pulls out a small silver ring with blue stones embedded into the metal. Chakotay slips the band onto the digit of my left hand. The weight of it on my finger makes everything feel so real. It is no longer a hypothetical, no longer a someday potential. It is _really_ happening. I'm really going to get married this time, to a man I can't imagine my life without. 

Tears wet my eyes and the baby starts to kick again. "So are you ready to plan this celebration for the crew from us?" Dimples greeting me. 

"I'm going to need your opinion on things," I say dabbing at my eyes. 

"You've come to the right person, I always have an opinion," he winks.

=/\=

"If that's everything, I should get back to the bridge," Chakotay plants a kiss on my cheek and retreats back to work. I have no such luxury, seeing it's my job he is doing. Perhaps I'll drop by for a visit later to make sure everything is where I left it.

"Let me make sure I have it down correctly Captain. We are going to run a holodeck program of a large cabin on Lake George during summer at dusk. Decorated with paper lanterns, candles, lavender and lilac flowers," Mr. Neelix reads from his notes. 

"Do you think you can handle all that?" 

"Leave it to me Captain, by the time I'm done you'll think I pulled the memory engrams out of your brain and projected them onto the holodeck," he assures me. 

"I look forward to seeing what you come up with Mr. Neelix." I rise, my ankles strain from the weight but my legs need to move. Now might be a good excuse to wander the ship a bit to relieve my jumpy legs. 

Engineering is my first stop, I see B'Elanna's crew hard at work as usual. The warp engine is humming with its distinctive blue glow, and I can feel the ship at a steady warp 6 trajectory. I hear a "Captain on deck," and the busy bees of engineering all pause to stand at attention at my arrival.

"At ease everyone, this isn't an official inspection and I'm technically not on duty just yet," I say walking in further into the room. 

"If I may Captain?" Lt. Carey says still at attention. I nod and he continues, "it is good to see you out and about these days Captain."

"Thank you Lieutenant, it is nice to see something other than the bulkheads of my quarters. What better view than the heart of the ship?" I smile and pat his shoulder. "Is Lt. Torres around?" 

"No Captain, she is at the senior staff meeting," he says. 

"Thank you Mr. Carey, I think I'll wander up there next. Keep up the good work." He nods and I turn to waddle out of the room toward the turbolift. Time to make my grand appearance on the bridge.

The bridge crew is just as surprised at my arrival as was engineering. A standing salute from the staff as I enter is not needed, but as I have been absent for sometime, I'll allow their formal greeting. Lt. Ayala is in command and I tell him to carry on as I saunter across the deck, down the steps and into the ready room. 

Walking into the intimate space feels good. It feels normal, as though the last week and a half didn't happen. Everything is how I left it, the only difference being a pot of tea instead of a carafe of coffee sitting on the table in front of the couch. I should bring some of Chakotay's art into the space. I want his presence in every part of my life, even my working world. 

I take a seat behind my familiar desk. My feet bangle as the chair is adjusted for the much taller Commander. Easing the chair to where it's comfortable, I turn on the computer console to scan through some daily reports. 

The ship seems to be running smoothly. There are some maintenance projects engineering will be working on today, which explains the scurrying I saw earlier. Duty roster is perfectly in order with minimal disruptions from my absence. And morale appears to be on the incline as of late. All and all Voyager is running beautifully under Chakotay's rein. 

I move my efforts to studying the data collected from the Thorium Subtemporal wave. It's not snooping, after all I am the Captain. The file is marked as 'highly dangerous for human use' but I wonder if some part of the experiment could be modified. That way it could maintain its physical properties without producing the same Tetryon radiation that accelerated my pregnancy. 

I study the telemetry readings when the door swishes open. Chakotay enters, an amused look in his eye but his dimples tucked away. 

"Do you make it a habit of entering before ringing Commander?" I tease, sitting back. 

"I do when it is _my_ ready room." He strolls behind the desk and hovers above me. He places one hand on the desk the other at the back of my chair, brown eyes hungrily stare at me. "It is _you_ my dear, that has barged into the Captain's office."

"Tell me then, what is the punishment for breaking into the _Acting Captain's_ office?" My hand reaches up to trace a finger across his lips. 

His eyes grow dark and he lowers himself to his knees. His hands knead the muscles of my inner thighs. "Computer enable privacy protocol, authorization Chakotay-Alpha-six-one-three." 

"Acknowledged," chimed the feminen voice. He flashes me a wolfish grin and his fingers play at the waistband of my pants. There is a throbbing need at my center and I can feel the baby rolling in time with my heart. The movement drives my desire to be touched even higher. Whichever way Chakotay will have me, I want it. I _need_ it now.

=/\=

After Chakotay is done devouring me, the baby settles and my whole body is in a state of bliss. I offer to return the favor but he declines since _he_ is still on duty. I commend his restraint and once we are both decent he escorts me to the turbolift.

"I'll see you after shift," he says and the door shut, whisking me back to my quarters. 

The lift slowed to a stop on deck three and the small red headed Naomi Wildman skips in. "Captain " she squeals, her eyes growing as large as saucers. 

"There is my assistant" I chuckle. The doors shut and we are back on our way.

"I'm sorry Captain I haven't been around, my mom told me you needed some space given everything that happened," her face drops with disappointment. 

I tilt her chin upwards so I can look into her grey eyes. Her Ktarian father's horns becoming more prominent as she is getting older. "Just think of this time as a little vacation before your next assignment."

"Next assignment Captain?!" she brightened.

"Oh yes, I hoped you would be the baby's ambassador to the going-ons of the ship," I grin and give her a wink. 

"Really?!"

"Of course, you _are_ going to be the senior child aboard Voyager pretty soon."

"Does that mean I get to come to the senior staff meeting?" She excitedly asked, to which I chuckle. 

"We will see when the time comes. Okay?"

"You can count on me Captain," Naomi smiled. 

The next thing I know the lift screeches to a stop and the lights flicker out. I bump against the wall to keep myself from falling and the glow of the emergency lights slightly illuminate the lift. "Naomi, are you alright?" I call out, seeing the silhouette of the little girl collecting herself off the floor. 

"I'm okay Captain, what happened?" 

"That is a very good question. Let's find out," I pull Naomi into my side and tap my comm badge. "Janeway to the bridge."

-Kathryn, are you alright?- Chakotay's worried voice crackles through my badge. 

"Yes, but it would seem that Ms. Naomi and I are stuck in the turbolift. Could you spare the time to fish us out?"

-Transporters are down along with internal sensors. Do you know where you are?-

"Between deck 6 and 7 I think," I feel Naomi's arms curl around my middle. 

-Hold on, we'll get you out just as soon as we can.-

"Understood, Janeway out," I close the communications link. I wrap an arm around Naomi, but I'm not sure if it is for her comfort or mine. She appears calm and cool headed given the situation. Course she has known no other life than that aboard a starship. She has had to grow up so fast. Every time we were under attack, every strange anomaly, every red alert. Naomi had lived and seen it all. This life of danger and uncertainty is her norm. And this will be my child's norm as well. 

The baby gives me a few kicks to remind me that they are still there. "Naomi, can you feel the baby?" I ask to distract her from the situation. 

"Yes, it's really moving!" 

"They’re excited to meet their ambassador," I tell her. Naomi responds with a squeeze and I smile to myself in the darkness. It is heartbreaking that this life will be the children's norm, it makes the challenge of reaching home that much more imperative. Not just for the crews’ sake, but for the families and children of Voyager. To end this odyssey of endless unknown danger and begin building towards a bright future in the safety of home.

=/\=

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I appreciate Comments and Kudos so much. I can't begin to explain how happy and motivated I get when I see people are enjoying my story. Please let me know what you think and I welcome suggestion as I have no Beta in all this. Thanks for reading !


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Star Trek Voyager: Trekflower AU....
> 
> The best man and maid of honor have been selected. The wedding reception has been arranged, but Chakotay's plans for the wedding still remain a mystery to the bride. The time is nearly upon them to tie the knot...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Disclaimer: CBS and Paramount own Star Trek. I am just borrowing for fun. All I get is your enjoyment, :)

"Captain, you are not supposed to lift anything heavier than 10 kilograms. As Naomi's primary pediatrician, I can say for a fact that she exceeds that weight limit," the Doctor lectures while running a medical device around my strained back. 

After an hour of being stuck in the turbolift, Tuvok and his security team had to pull us out through the overhead access hatch. Naomi was too short for Tuvok to reach so I lifted her as best I could thus resulting in my current back pain. Chakotay found me easily enough sprawled out on the biobed after being informed of our rescue.

"Kathryn, what were you thinking?" Chakotay asked displeased yet concerned. He strokes the auburn hair away from my face waiting for the Doctor to finish. 

"A Captain never leaves a man behind, no matter how small," I tell them. I do not regret my actions in the slightest, thus I will not apologize for them. 

"Naomi is not so small anymore. You should have let the security team jumped down to get her," he says.

"I will not live my life on ‘should have’s’ and ‘what if's’ Chakotay. A Captain doesn't have that luxury. I thought you would have understood that by now." I swot his hand away. Hell I’m pregnant not helpless, he’d do well to remember that. He stifles a grin, which only adds to my annoyance. 

"You're all done Captain. You may sit up now," the EMH says putting away his tools. I push myself into a sitting position. Chakotay makes a move to help me but I glare him down as if to say _'Don't you dare mister.'_

He gets the message retracting himself from the bed. "Are the turbolifts functioning now?" I ask shifting into command mode. 

"Yes Captain, along with all the affected systems." He adjusts, standing just a smidge taller before his CO. "It seems there was a slight miscommunication in the engineering teams. Standard operating procedures were not followed on some routine maintenance tasks." 

"And what is being done to prevent future miscommunications? We were lucky it only damaged the systems that it did Commander," my tone sharp. I've missed this side of me. The strong Captain that could bring a Lieutenant to a cold sweat with just a look. I slide my feet to the floor. The sharp pain in my back is gone, but there is a lingering ache. I would ask Chakotay to rub it later, but that would undo the point I'm trying to make. 

"I have Torris and Paris looking into the matter. Lt. Torres is very displeased to say the least," Chakotay answers. 

"I'm very disappointed as well," I growl for emphasis. "We are in unfamiliar space. Not even Neelix can tell us what’s out there, and our own engineering teams accidentally disable the ship!"

Just when I think I have Chakotay on the ropes for disciplinary actions, I am betrayed by my body. I feel bubbles shift and my stomach growls like an angry predator. I see Chakotay fighting back the urge to laugh. So much for the uncompromisable Captain Janeway. "The baby needs some food," I rub my belly glaring up at him. "But we are not done here. Is that understood Commander?" I press a finger into his chest for emphasis. 

"Aye Captain," he remains at attention. "Permission to speak freely?" I nod and he relaxes. "I had planned a Chicken Katsu dish for dinner if you care to continue this discussion in your quarters." 

"That is unacceptable." He frowns. "We will continue the discussion in _our_ quarters," I crack a smile and give him a wink before heading out the sickbay doors.

=/\=

"I must have an ally in there," Chakotay chuckles while he runs his hands along my aching muscles. His Chicken Katsu dish with rice and mac-salad satisfied my hunger but what elevated the dinner was the pink dynamo sauce, of which I lathered over everything. The sauce was just the right amount of spicy and sweet to have me asking for seconds then eventually thirds.

"Traitor," I whisper to the baby. My eyelids grow heavy, my body satisfied by the very large meal I just ate. "Chakotay you know why I was upset right?" I ask a little embarrassed now. 

"Yes, or at least I have a theory. You don't like to be told your limits, even when those limitations are put in place to protect you and the baby." He pauses snuggling up to my body as we lay on the bed. 

I take a deep breath, "I don't want people to see me as helpless."

"Kathryn, that is the last thing anyone on this ship sees you as, and that goes double for me," he kisses my temple. "You need to accept the fact that you can't do everything, and it's not just because your pregnant. You are a Starfleet Captain not a god, it's okay to ask for help and to let others help you." 

"I struggle with that you know," I answer him quietly. 

"I know, it's what makes you such a strong leader. You won't ask anyone to do anything you aren't willing to do yourself. But you have to remember it's not just you any more, it's the baby too," his hand glides over my middle. 

"It's all just happening so fast," I lace my fingers with his. The newly placed ring presses into my skin, solidifying everything. 

"Yes it is, and truthfully I couldn't be happier about it. It took us years to finally admit our feelings for each other. I don't want to wait a second longer than I have to." Chakotay's deep voice lulls me that much closer to sleep. "In one week I will get to be your husband, and in a few months I will be a father."

"You're already a father Chakotay. From the moment we heard I was pregnant, you started to glow with paternal pride," I smile into my pillow. "It's a wonder people didn't suspect sooner." 

"Was I that obvious?"

"You have a poor poker face my love. Your eyes give you away." 

He chuckles and I feel the vibrations through my body. "Sweet dreams," he presses one more kiss to my cheek before I drift off to sleep.

=/\=

A week after the turbolift incident, for which B'Elanna thoroughly reprimanded the persons responsible, the day has come for the eve of our wedding and Chakotay is grinning from ear to ear at me from across the breakfast table.

I dive into my second helping of French toast with maple syrup trying to ignore his dimples. But the task is difficult with this meal being our last time spent together before we are standing in front of Tuvok exchanging vows. I think it's an archaic tradition for the bride and groom to refrain from seeing each other the day before the wedding, but Chakotay's people have a similar custom so I agree to the separation. He continues his study at which point I set down my fork and knife to meet his eyes.

"Is my eating _really_ that fascinating?" one of my brows rase. 

"The sight of you is always fascinating for me," he draws himself closer. "You are radiant and I'm drawn to your glow like a flower is drawn to the sun. It will be hard to survive the cold dark night of the next day without you." He kisses my jawline then peppers down to my favorite spot at the base of my neck. He bares his teeth gently along with kisses setting my skin a blaze. 

I suddenly hunger for him instead of the food on the table, the baby is doing cartwheels to help its father's case. "You could stay in the light as long as you want," I suggest, my words coming out breathy. My hands run through his hair encouraging his advance. "We don't have to spend the day apart."

He pulls back, his brown eyes are nearly black. "A day of separation will give you time to rest because once we are married, I plan to keep you and the baby burning throughout the night." Chakotay captures my lips again, conquering my mouth with his powerful penetrating tongue. I pull him as close as I can with the growing baby bump between us. His agile fingers unfastened the bra beneath my shirt and the weight of the straps digging into my shoulders slide away. Chakotay's hand travels to my front caressing my freed breast eliciting a moan to escape my lips. I feel him smiling against my skin. "Come to bed with me Kathryn," he says between kisses. "I want to burn in your light before facing the frost."

"Holy hell Chakotay," I giggle pressing myself into him. He laughs with me. 

I can't tell if his words are overly sweet or dripping with sexual desire, either way I have hopelessly made up my mind to be ravaged by him. Standing together his arms supporting my back, we make quick work of our remaining clothing and end up spending the rest of our time together in bed before observing the Day of Separation.

=/\=

The holographic sun warms my skin while I lay on an overly plush chaise sporting a two piece swimsuit. A pair of Trill masseurs, one at my shoulders the other my feet, work in time with each other to relax my muscles. Their glistening bodies and chiseled male physique was B'Elanna's idea, her little gift for my ‘Day of Separation’. Samantha and B'Elanna receive similar massages while Seven appears content in observing only. Naomi will be joining us later after her schooling, thus we decide to get the half-naked rubdowns out of the way first.

"How is the pressure?" the one at my shoulders askes. 

"Fine, I just wish I didn't have this great big belly so you could work on my back," I tell him. 

"I am trained in prenatal massages. If you roll onto your side I could work on your lower back and hips, where I'm sure the strain is the greatest," he tells me. The offer is so tempting, I nod and wiggle onto my side. The foot masseur fetches me a pillow for between my legs then continues to work on my ankles and calves. God their holographic hands feel almost as wonderful as Chakotay's. 

"So Captain," B'Elanna asked through her own treatment. "Are you replicating a bigger dress uniform or are you going with a big white gown?" 

"Both seem like a waste of replicator rations. Is it too late for a Betazoid wedding?" The girls and masseurs laugh at my sarcasm, but Seven appears confused.

"Betazoid weddings are performed with the wedding party completely naked Seven," I inform her. 

"That seems highly impractical, as neither you nor the Commander is of Betazed," she sips from a pineapple decorated with umbrellas and flowers. 

"True, but it would be a big time saver," I smile. 

"I'm not supposed to give out Chakotay's secrets, Captain, _but_ if it helps you decide, you might consider some kind of covering for the wedding. There are going to be a lot of eyes on the union of Voyager's Captain and First Officer," B'Elanna jumps in.

"Is that my only hint?" A soft moan comes out after the question to the knot in my back being worked at. 

"Your lucky you get that much, Maquis punishments are a bit harsher than Starfleet’s," she winks before my eyes roll back into my head. I will have to have Neelix save this program and keep it on standby for me during the next few weeks. 

"Well when Naomi and Neelix get here we could select our outfits," I reply. "I would love to see her in a pretty dress when she sprinkles flowers down the aisle. Wherever _that_ may be." 

"I can't tell you how excited Naomi is to be your flower girl, Captain. She has been practicing all week with Flutter and Trevis experimenting different types of flower petals on the holodeck," Samantha tells me. 

"You have raised an amazing young lady Samantha. I can only hope mine turns out just as caring and curious as Naomi," I tell her in earnest. Naomi has been Voyager's only child aboard, and yet she has grown into one of the crew. It’s astonishing how wonderful she is given the circumstances. 

"With you and the Commander as parents, I have no doubt they will be," Samantha replies. 

Naomi and Neelix join our little gathering some time later, once the Trill masseurs are dismissed. Naomi has no trouble finding her own lounge chair to join us in indulging in Earthen mud masks. She is even able to convince Mr. Neelix and Seven to partake as well. 

The pampering continues with mani-pedis with an assortment of tropical fruit drinks and desserts passed around. I'm having such a wonderful time I almost forget that we are still on Voyager. As we near the end of the services, our Master of Ceremony Neelix announces it's time to pick out dresses for Naomi and I. 

"Computer begin running program Neelix Bride One," he orders the computer. A program likeness of me appears. It's strange to be looking at a holo image of me pregnant, but she will play dress-up in my stead. Next to my doppelganger stands an image of Naomi in a pink flower girl outfit. I can't say I'm pleased looking at myself as I am, but Naomi looks adorable. 

The first dress is a mermaid cut that I instantly dismiss, as I know it would be impossible to move around in. The second looked comfortable, but with the long sleeves and its simple design it reminded me of a Victorian nightgown. I may be many things but bland is not one of them. My image changes into a large ball gown covered in lace. It is very pretty however it seems just as impractical as the first when I think about walking around in the corridors.

"Come on Neelix, that can't be all the dresses," B'Elanna asks. 

"Certainly not, I didn't know what the Captain prefer so I selected a wide assortment to narrow the field." He inputs some information onto a PADD and my hologram returns. 

This dress is a halter top champagne colored gown. The material gathers under a sequins bust, then flows to the floor in a simple silk material. The skirt was comprised of panels, silk underneath with a thin layer of tulle laying on top embroidered with pink flowers. The design creates the illusion that I am not nearly as pregnant as I am. My hair is loosely pinned up allowing soft curls to flow down my back and a crown of white flowers rests atop my head. 

It is beautiful, and my image looks beautiful in it. It just needs one adjustment, "Neelix can you hem the front so I don't trip on the dress."

"Of course Captain," he types out the commands. My image disappears and reappears in an instant. "Is that better Captain?" 

I dab at my eyes while B'Elanna rests a hand on my shoulder. "It’s perfect!"

=/\=

Tonight is the first night in weeks I am eating dinner alone. Well, alone from any non-gestational beings that is. It is quiet. The steady hum of the ship washes over me as I gaze out the viewport from the table. I can't believe I spent years eating alone like this, thinking nothing of it. But not now, now I pick at my food discontent in my isolation. Tomorrow is the big day, the day I marry Chakotay. I should feel excitement and joy but all I can focus on is the empty void Chakotay's absence creates.

If the Day of Separation is meant to make the heart grow fonder, mine is ready to burst from the lack of space in my chest. I set down my fork and tentatively tap my comm badge. "Janeway to Chakotay," I say. I'm not sure if talking to each other is against the rules but I don't really care at this point. 

-Kathryn what's wrong?- 

"Why do you think something is wrong?" 

-I can hear it in your voice. Come on, out with it Kathryn.- 

Its amazing he can read me so well, even when we are distanced across the ship. 

"I miss you, that's all," I sigh rubbing my belly. "I didn't think a day without you would be so hard." I bite my lower lip thinking back to this morning. "The frosty night sure is uncomfortable. I don’t know if I will be able to sleep without you."

I hear a muffling, maybe a grown, through the commlink. He must be struggling as much as I am. -What if we keep the line open? You can listen to me read reports so you can fall asleep.- 

"It's not the same.” 

-Lets give it a try anyway. Go to bed and I'll read through Tom's rather dry status reports-

"Tom's reports are dry? I can't imagine," I smile cleaning away my barely touched dinner into the replicator. 

-Believe it or not he is all business when it comes to reports. Who would have suspected Tom Paris to make one hell of a first officer?-

"You did," I walk into the sleeping area and ready myself for bed. 

-Oh yeah, that's right,- he teases. 

I place my badge at the night stand and climb between the cool sheets. "Okay I'm ready, what does Mr. Paris' reports have to say."

-Before I start look inside your nightstand- 

I can hear his amusement and do as instructed. Pulling open the drawer I find a silk sleeping mask nestled inside. It smells of lavender and has the words ‘Sweet Dreams’ embroidered on the front.

-Did you find it?-

"I found a sleeping mask, what is it for?" I ask. I know its general purpose but why would he give me one now?

-With your eyes covered...I'd thought it would be easier for you to imagine me in the room beside you.-

I smile, he is so incredibly thoughtful. “Thank you Chakotay. I adore it,” I slip the mask over my head then lay into my pillow. "Okay I'm ready," I inform him. Chakotay begins to read his reports aloud for me to hear, his deep gentle voice is soothing. His words begin to blend together as I start to drift in and out of consciousness. 

After a while I become aware enough to notice his words have stopped. All is quiet. I must have fallen asleep on him. Funny I don’t think I even made it all the way through the first report. I sense someone in the room and hear muffled footsteps approach. The weight of the bed shifts and I instantly smell Chakotay's musk. His arm drapes itself over me, his body presses up to mine. Chakotay has come. He is here. "I think as long as we don't look at one another, then we are still observing our Day of Separation," he whispers in my ear. 

"Thank God for loopholes. I love you Chakotay," I say nuzzling into him. 

"Sweet dreams my love," he answers, placing a kiss on the back of my head. We lay still drifting off to sleep, blissful in the knowledge that tomorrow begins the rest of our lives

=/\=

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I kind of pictured Neelix as the wedding planner from the movie _Father of the Bride_
> 
> Thank you to all that are following this story and sending me your kudos and thoughts.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Star Trek Voyager: Trekflower AU....
> 
> Kathryn takes time to relax on the holodeck with the girls (and Neelix) to finally pick out a wedding dress. Turns out that one day of separation is hitting Kathryn and Chakotay harder then they both thought it would...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to take this time to thank everyone that has been following along with this story. I am grateful from all the positive feedback and Kudos, not sure where this story would be without everyone's encouragement. Thank you readers...Now for your enjoyment the wedding of our favorit Command Team.

Reaching out in search of the large warm mass in my bed has become my norm. On the rare occasions he sleeps through my waking, I get to study his tranquil face. Committing the valleys and peaks of his lips, nose, and forehead marked with a symbol of his father to memory. I have grown accustomed to being greeted each morning with brown eyes and a set of dimples. His lips are what I taste first, his musk my first smell, and his skin my first tactile interaction of the day. However, this morning, I regrettably turn up empty handed. 

Chakotay had vanished sometime before the wailing sound of the alarm pulls me from my slumber. The impression of his body, the only physical evidence he had been there at all. I shouldn't blame him, we _did_ cheat a bit on our day of separation after all, but I still feel out of sorts from his absence. Pushing the sleeping mask aside I see it is 0900 hours, Neelix and Seven will be here shortly to help me get ready. Just enough time to shower, eat, and take a quick nap before they arrive I think. 

I stretch my muscles and a realization dances through my mind, _Chakotay is going to marry you today._ I press my face into the pillow with giddiness of this fact and the baby gives its first light kick of the morning. 

"Your excited too aren't you?" I say to them, my hand glides over the expanse of my abdomen. "Your daddy loves us so much and he is super excited to meet you kid." They kick against my hand nearest my hip. "Are you hungry? Is that why your kicking mommy so much this morning?" I take another thump as a yes and waddle myself to the bathroom before the baby decides to make use of my bladder as a football. 

I shuffle into the livingroom and towards the replicator. The display of the replicator is flashing, indicating there is currently something placed in stasis. Activating the program, a tray of food sparkles into existence in the cubby of the machine. It is a breakfast nearly identical to the one Chakotay and I had after our little discovery of the baby. Blueberry muffins, scrambled eggs, banana-orange fruit medley, with a cup of herbal tea. Resting against the mug there is a handwritten note. 

_'Breakfast for my beautiful fiancee and our little bundle of joy. I will see you both very soon. Love Chakotay.’_

I read the note, then take my tray to the table. What I lack in his physical presence I can certainly feel in spirit. Chakotay is with me even when he's gone. "See this," I say to the baby sitting down at the table. "I told you daddy was excited, he made us breakfast." 

Digging into the amazing meal the baby settles with each bit of food. The only thing that could make this meal more perfect is a nice hot cup of coffee and Chakotay sitting across from me. 

Delighted with Chakotay’s thoughtfulness, and the babies approval of the meal, I over eat my fill and now feel as though there are two babies weighing down on me. Hopping in to take a quick shower I then rest for a few minutes on the bed, hair wet and uncombed. The day has barely begun and yet my energy is practically nonexistent. I certainly did not expect to be this pregnant for my wedding. 

"We have a big day planned out kid. Think you can help mommy out by letting her have a little energy," I chuckle. My eyes slide shut and my head melts into the pillow, I just need a quick rest before the preparations and fanfare begins.

=/\=

"Captain?" Neelix's voice filters into my ear. I open my eyes to find he and Tuvok are hovered above me in my bedroom both matching with concerning looks. I stifle a yawn and force myself to sit up.

"Gentleman, what seems to be the trouble?" I yawn again. 

"Captain you could not be reached through the commlink, nor did you answer when Mr. Neelix chimed your door. Given the peculiar circumstances of your pregnancy I felt it prudent to enter to check on your wellbeing," Tuvok informed me. I comb a hand through my hair noting that it is nearly dry. Eyeing the chronometer the time reads nearly 1200 hours. 

I flash them a lopsided grin. "It took you two hours to come looking for me. Your slipping Tuvok, I'm disappointed." 

"My apologies Captain, I was unaware you required a sitter," he said flatly. 

"Mr. Vulcan, I do believe that was a joke," Neelix slapped him on the back in delight. 

"At least the closest your going to get to it Mr. Neelix," I say with amusement at Tuvok’s expense. "Nevertheless, I'm up now and should start getting ready. If you can believe it, I'm getting married today." 

"And the crew is abuzz with excitement for you and the Commander," Neelix informs us. 

"Let me by, let me by!" The Doctor barges into the room behind my security officer. He has a medical tricorder in one hand, an emergency field kit in the other. He shoves the kit into Neelix's arms before running hastened scans around me and my stomach. His face softens slightly to the information he must be receiving from the device. "How are you feeling Captain?" He sets down his tricorder then begins feeling my stomach, as if his hands could tell him more than a Starfleet issued tricorder could. 

"Annoyed that my napping merits a shipwide search," I answer but allow him to continue. 

"Any other feeling," his forehead wrinkles looking up at me. "Perhaps something more medical, if you please." 

"I was a little tired, so I decided to rest. The baby was kicking a good deal this morning, other than that, all is well." 

The baby kicks against his flat palm and he smiles. The Doctor actually looks overjoyed, to feel the life growing within. His protectiveness has transcend into more than just Chief Medical Officer, just as he has grown beyond his programming. Certainly he will be an excellent mentor to the child.

_He should really pick a name before the baby is born. We can’t very well call him uncle EMH, or uncle Doctor.___

_ _ "Everything appears to be in order. The baby is more active than usual because today is an exciting day for you. The tiredness comes with the territory of pregnancy I'm afraid." He stands and collects his things from Mr. Neelix. He turns his displeased attention to the others, "there was nothing to be concerned with _this time_, but I would like to be informed sooner when you have concerns over the Captain's wellbeing." _ _

_ _"Thank you Doctor," I call to the EMH as he exits slightly annoyed. Neelix shuffles to the next room and returns with a long garment bag with what I'm sure is my replicated dress. _ _

_ _"Well, we don't have as much time as I would like, _but_ not to fear Captain I will have you ready before you can say Talaxian Mountain Mole," he says merrily. _ _

_ __ _

=/\=

"Are you ready Captain?" Seven asks handing me a bouquet of flowers. The fragrance of the pink and purple Lilacs is strong. They remind me of my mother, she had a few Lilac trees growing next to our porch at my childhood home in Indiana. I recall the flowers scent with every gust of breeze while I studied for my entrance exam to Starfleet on that porch. My mother would sometimes join me by sitting in her swing, reading quietly. Just enjoying the presence of each other during those long August summer days. I miss her terribly and my chest tightens knowing she will not be with me on this day. She won't be with me as I make a commitment to begin a new future.

I look up at Seven. She is out of her customary skin tight suit and is wearing a soft pink kneehigh dress. Neelix arranged her hair to frame her face beautifully with a small set of flowers placed behind her right ear. She extends a cap sleeve arm to me, I take it as she is my guide to my final wedding destination. Naomi has arrived in a dress identical to Sevens, her red hair curled for the occasion, flower basket in hand. Her face shines and I commit to capturing this moment to memory. It feels so normal and bazar simultaneously. 

"I hope you know where we are going," I wink at Naomi. 

"Not to worry Captain," she beams back. 

"I _too_ I'll not lead you astray Captain " Seven adds to bolster my confidence. 

"I'm glad to hear it, otherwise I might suspect that you were trying to keep me and Chakotay apart," I laugh whilst my arm is looped through hers as we head toward the door. 

"Time to go, are we ready ladies?" Neelix gives us a once over. He hears no objections from us and we are on our way. 

The door to my quarters opens. Naomi charges forth first and we follow. Seven and I pass the archway that marks the separation of my room from the hallway to a surprise that makes me want to cry. 

Lining the deck as far as I can see, donned in their Starfleet dress uniforms is the crew. _My crew_, my family. They stand at attention smiles pressed hard into each and every face. Lt. Joe Carey is the first in line and calls out for the rest, "Bride on deck." 

Awestruck. Dumbfounded. Pride. I'm not sure what I feel more to the display of love and respect of my crew. B'Elanna was incorrect. There are not just a lot of eyes on the wedding of the Captain and First Officer, _all of Voyager_ is cheerfully watching.

I follow Seven’s and Naomi’s leed, our trek through the deck past the uninterrupted line of smiling faces. Naomi does a wonderful job of sprinkling rose petals along our way. Naomi guides us into the turbolift and the three of us are whisked off to deck 8. Another smiling salute greets us as we finally arrive at our destination, Astrometrics. 

What waits for me beyond the doors is an imaginative marvel, I almost can't believe I am still on my ship. The lab’s lights are dimmed low except for a soft spotlight shining down on the elevated platform where Chakotay stands waiting for me. Flickering lanterns are staged throughout the room some even appear to be floating high in the air. Flowers line the platform’s edge and the sterile scientific lab is transcended into an intimate occasion. 

Standing just off into the shadows of the platform are B'Elanna and Tuvok. B'Elanna is acting as Chakotay’s bestman and Tuvok our minister. 

Tears threaten to fall once I see Chakotay's face. His eyes glisten with his own tears and he is beaming with love and joy. Dimples and the biggest smile I seen him wear invite me to join him on the platform above the group of people here to watch our marriage. Harry, Tom, Neelix, the Doctor, Samantha and Naomi are all here to witness this long overdue joining of two loving souls. 

Taking a step toward him and my future, Seven holds me back gently. "Wait one moment Captain," she says giving a signal to Harry. Mr. Kim activates the view screen, the star charts of the Delta Quadrant vanish and familiar loving faces replace them. With a sharp gasp my knees nearly buckle sending me trembling into Seven’s side to keep myself upright.

Now I know why all the secrecy, now I understand why Astrometrics. Chakotay’s surprise is nothing short of a miracle. The three faces that appear on the screen are the three faces I care most deeply about from my life before Voyager, and had resigned to the fact they could not be here to celebrate this new life's moment with me. Staring back at me with tears of pride and joy are those of my mother, younger sister, and mentor Admiral Paris. 

My legs shake under my weight as we cross the room and up the steps to meet Chakotay. Where I found the strength to travel the short distance is unclear, since it feels more like lightyears as I walk. I take Chakotay’s outstretched hands for support. Handing Seven the flowers, my nerves settle a bit being in Chakotay’s embrace. He helps me stand before my loved ones back home. "Mom, Phoebe, how did…" my voice is as unsteady as my legs. 

"Owen called in every favor, turned over every stone to get HQ to allow this Kathy. We were so happy to hear that you found love and will have a family. Even though you are not here, and I can't help as you learn to be a mother, you are living a blessed life with this lovely man," my mother soothing voice breaks the last barrier I held for my tears. 

I planned for her not to be here, but hoped she would be in spirit, yet Chakotay has figured out a way to make the impossible, possible. 

"Three minutes until communication is lost Commander," Ensign Kim tells us. 

"We better start, so they can watch the whole thing," Chakotay whispers to me. 

I nod and with one last acknowledgment to my mother and sister, "I love you both so much." I tell them. 

With my senior staff, _my friends_, gathered around and my family streaming from the other side of the galaxy. I turn to meet Chakotay's warm eyes. The eyes I love seeing each day, the eyes that captured my heart along with his dimples years ago. 

Tuvok steps into the light carrying a PADD for the ceremony. He starts with a brief Vulcan poem on companionship and trust. Which is as close to love his species expresses. Followed by asking who here presents this woman to be wed. 

"I present her physically," Seven says then turns to the screen. 

"I, her mother, present her spiritually," my mother says. "And I accept this man as my own son from this day forth." 

"Very well. I believe the Captain and Commander have elected to arrange their own vows. You may proceed at this time," Tuvok steps aside so everyone can see clearly as I recite the dedication of love in my heart for Chakotay. 

I take a breath to steady my fluttering heart, the baby is awake and on the move. 

"Chakotay, we both know how stubborn I can be. I don't like to make the wrong decision. But if there is one decision I will never have any regrets over it's loving you. I love how you keep me grounded, I love how you surprise me with your thoughtful gestures. I love how your dimples deepen in your smile every day I get to be with you. You are the love of my life, the father of my child," I settle his hand on my belly so he can feel how distracting our baby’s movements are. "And I want to spend the rest of my life with you, wherever that may take us." The tears fall unchecked. My gaze is fixed on him. My pounding heart threatens to jump out of my chest while the baby dances along in time. I desperately want to kiss him but Chakotay needs to recite his vows before the transmission is lost with Earth. 

I tighten my grip, letting him know I have finished.

"Kathryn, when we first met, I held a lot of anger in my heart. I was a man looking to fight anyone and everyone. But over time your grace, beauty, and strong character softened that anger, turning it into peace. When we first met, I didn't expect that day would ever come but when it did I knew one thing for sure, that I loved you Kathryn Janeway. On that day I vowed to do whatever it took to stand by your side, to ease the burdens life throws at you, to fight anyone that would try to harm you, and to love you until my last breath. Which will be a long time, hopefully." Chakotay pulled away from my belly to cross his fingers for everyone. I smile at the private memory while the room quietly chuckles. "You are the mother of my child and the center of my world, I love you Kathryn."

Tuvok nods to Seven and I collect a silver ring from her. With shaky hands I slide the band around Chakotay’s finger. The coloring matches mine perfectly and I am delighted at the sight of it. It is a token of me for when we are apart, a symbol of our unity. 

"If there are no objections to the union of this man and this woman," Tuvok pauses. The room is devoid of comment. "Then by the power vested in me by Starfleet Command and the United Federation of Planets, I hereby declare you husband and wife. Commander, you may kiss your bride."

Chakotay cups my cheek, bending to place the softest of kisses on my lips. The kiss is delicate almost fragile, if anything it is a promise. A promise that no matter what is to come or what we face, we will face it together. A roar of cheers and clapping fills the room and I take one last look at the faces on the screen. My mother is dabbing at her tears as Phoebe hugs her close. Owen gives us a smile and a wink before the transmission is cut off. The Starfleet insignia replacing their faces.

My sight lingers on the screen. 

"Penny for your thoughts," Chakotay whispers. His arm slides around my back, pulling me close. 

"I can't believe you were able to get my mother and sister to be here for our wedding. I can't thank you enough," I say privately.

"I just gave Admiral Paris the idea, he did all the real work."

"But only _you_ would have known to make them apart of it," I kiss him again. 

"Now that we are married, I am reminded of an ancient Earth saying _Happy wife, happy life_," he chuckles. I laugh out loud and we make our way down the steps to join our friends as a newly married couple.

=/\=

Out of Astrometrics and onto the holodeck, Chakotay and I walk arm in arm along a white pebbled path lined with paper lanterns to our wedding reception. The path winds through a wooded landscape before opening up to a clearing next to the lake. Along the shore there are several groups of guests standing around bonfires ringed with colorful stones. Center to the festivities sits a large wooden cabin, its windows ablaze with the light from the setting sun opposite the lake.

Many have gathered on the enormous deck of the cabin that extends over the waters edge. Off to the side there is a dock with a 30 foot Catamaran bobbing in the water. Neelix has certainly pulled off a wonderful reception. 

We make our way onto the deck and find there is a loveseat specially arranged for us to sit on. The pink and white pillows are inviting, I gladly ease into the plush seat taking the pressure off my pregnant feet. Chakotay slides in next to me placing a kiss on my knuckle beside my wedding ring. 

A ringing of glassware being tapped dances in the air and I take cue. Leaning in I peck Chakotay on the side of the cheek, as it is all I can reach at this angle. Unsatisfied, the chiming continues until my husband presses his lips into mine. More firmly than before but nowhere near our customary exchanges in private. I am starting to wonder if he is trying to be delicate with our displays of affection or if he is reserving himself for later. I truly hope it is the latter. There is clapping and cheers from our spectators, and heat fills my cheeks. Our relationship certainly isn't a secret to anyone now. 

"Are you hungry?" He asks catching the attention of a holographic waiter.

"Always."

The waiter saunters over to us with a tray of assorted food. The waiter presents the hors d’oeuvres to us and Chakotay takes the whole thing from him. "Be a good lad and fetch us another tray," he gave him a wink. Turning to me he delicately picks up a fluffy pastry holding it out as if to feed it to me. I'm surprised by the act, we have not had that kind of relationship.

Well, he has fed me in that he prepares my meals but has never fed me fed me. It is endearing but I can't help but tease a little. 

"Is there something wrong with _my hands_ Commander?" I chew on my cheek to hold a straight face. 

"Not at all Captain, I am just trying to fulfill our agreement," he says with a straight face. My brows meet thinking back to our last set of parameters. "I did not prepare this meal, but I feel like feeding you still satisfies my requirements for today," he holds the pastry closer. My mouth opens and he slowly slides the item past my lips onto my tongue. I didn't realize how seductive being fed was. Chewing on the cheesy flavor has wetted my appetite for more. Chakotay repeats the act until the tray is empty and the waiter returns with another. 

"My wife requires a beverage, nonalcoholic obviously," Chakotay says exchanging the trays. The waiter nods and is off. I lean in resting a hand on his thigh giving it the briefest of squeezes. His eyes flash dark, his dimples deep. 

"I could get used to this," I whisper. 

"What's that?" A mischievous twinkle in his eyes sharks at me. 

"Being called your wife," I say kissing his jawline.

=/\=

We eat and drink, _nonalcoholic for me_, to our hearts content. The sun vanishes over the horizon and the night sky comes to life with the familiar constellations of home. Neelix takes center stage and informs everyone that the time for speeches is upon us.

Seven is the first to stand to give a toast, a glass of champagne in hand. "As individuals the Captain and Commander were most efficient. But they have now formed their own collective, two unique individuals becoming one unique couple. Before I would have thought this to be inefficient for humans as they do not possess the necessary Borg components, but now I understand they create more as a couple than they ever could apart. Their collective is strong because resisting each others love was futile. To the Captain and Commander," Seven finishes her speech raising a glass. 

A cheer of "To the Captain and Commander!" echoes around us with clinking of glassware. 

Next B'Elanna stands before the crowd. "Chakotay is my oldest friend. He took me in and gave me an enemy to focus my anger towards. The Captain did the same, only she gave me a much harder task. She gave me something to focus my logic and reasoning towards, which sometimes takes a back seat to Klingon anger," B'Elanna pauses to the chuckle of the crowd. "I would not be the woman I am today without either of you. I'm grateful to you both and I'm so very happy you found each other to focus your love on," she raises her glass. I see she is fighting back rare Klingon tears with a smile. "majQa'!"

“majQa’!” the deck replies. 

Pushing myself to my feet I head straight for B’Elanna and Seven to given them both a hug. I couldn’t ask for better companions just as much as I could not ask for a better wedding or husband.

=/\=

The temptation of a moonlight sail is nothing in comparison to that of spending alone time with my husband. We bid our farewells retreating back to our quarters, the hallways devoid of life. Either people are still on the holodeck or they are on duty. I try to key in my access code but Chakotay is very distracting with his kisses peppering along my neck.

"Chakotay!" I grumble, messing up the code now for the third time. "If you intend on furthering your actions, we need to get inside first."

"Then by all means dear allow me," his voice is deep and wanting. He opens the door and we rush inside. 

"I have something for you," he breathes, turning me in his arms. I bite my lip with playful intent. Chakotay takes my lips then places a small wooden box neatly in my hands. 

"Oh!" I respond looking down at the package. I didn't think he meant he _actually_ had something for me. I slide the top open to find a smooth orange stone tucked inside. On the stone, there are markings that are similar to the stone I’ve seen in his medicine bundle. I turn the weighted item in my hand, feeling the smooth cold surface and the rounded edges where it has been engraved. 

"This symbol here represents you," he points to one of the markings. "And this other one is a blessing. I took this stone from New Earth the night before Voyager returned to orbit. I’ve been holding onto it as a memento because something that night told me that it would only be a matter of time," he says softly. 

"A matter of time for what?”

"For you to fall in love with me, just as I fell in love with you then. Your symbol is that of the woman warrior. I engraved this stone to become part of my medicine bundle just as you have become part of my life. I will use it to focus my prayers to you when I walk with my spirit guide."

I'm frozen in awe. What can I say that can even begin to convey how happy I am. "Chakotay...I-" pausing to collect my thoughts, I shut my eyes. It's hard enough to think of what to say with his dimples hypnotizing me. "You have given me so many wonderful things, your love, our child, and now your time with your own spirit animal," I stare up at him. "How can I ever give you anything equal in return?"

"Love is not about being equal in gifts, Kathryn. You have given more than enough every day when you smile at me, or when you are cross with me. You give me peace with all that you do because every day that I get to be in your light, is a gift." He leans down and presses his forehead to mine. "There are no regrets when it comes to you Kathryn."

"I have one," I whisper. He pulls back to meet my blue eyes with his brown. "That we didn't do this sooner." My arms wrap around his neck and he smiles capturing my lips now as husband and wife. 

Nimble fingers work quickly and the elegant wedding dress is pooled around my feet. Chakotay's dress uniform is gone as well, down to his black bulging boxers and a wolfish grin. Bronze arms envelop me from behind. His cheek nuzzles into me and his hands come to rest on the stretch marked skin of my stomach. Chakotay’s hands are warm and rough, perfect for lightly scratching at the irritated skin from the growing child. I guide him to move over the vast expanse of my blossoming belly but pause when we both feel a thud below the surface. 

"I don't think this day could be any more perfect," I whisper resting my head against his shoulder. My eyes slide shut, losing the battle with my fatigue. 

"My wife and my baby wrapped in my arms. Sure feels like a perfect day to me." Chakotay sways us toward the bedroom, little kisses graze my neck. "How do you feel?" 

"Drained," I sigh. "Your child is sucking up all my energy reserves." My hand runs up into his hair, pulling him to kiss me properly now that we don't have an audience. My lips part to the taste of his breath. The salty aroma of vegetable kabobs on his lips, a hint of champagne on his tongue. The sweetness of the cake in his lingering touch. Chakotay is everything I could want and in turn I want to give him everything. 

My shin bumps into the side of the bed. We have blindly made it. Chakotay unhooks my bra, throwing it off into the distance. I feel exposed with my enlarge breasts hanging free and nipples puckered to the cool air of the room. But Chakotay doesn't mind my changing body, in fact I think it spurs him on. I turn in his arms he takes one of my exposed bosoms with his mouth while he massages the other between his fingers. I rest my hands on his shoulders to steady myself through his advance. 

Chakotay switches breasts, giving them each delicate attention, sending a spark of desire to my center. He shifts his attention again kissing down my belly, his hands traveling to either side of the mound that is the baby. We both still and he rests his forehead on my belly button. My fingers curl through his raven hair and I hear him speak. 

"Ah-koo-chee-moya," he whispers. "We are far from the sacred places of our ancestors. We are far from the bones of our people. I ask the Spirits to watch over this beautiful warrior who has captured my heart. Who is carrying my child, and who has agreed to walk life’s journey with me as my wife. I ask the Spirits to guide me and give me the strength to protect her, to carry her burdens, to give me the years to walk with her as long as she lives, so she never will never know a day without me.

"I ask the Spirits to watch over our child. That they grow strong and kind, that they inherit their mother's passion, her sense of justice, and soulful blue eyes," his brown eyes meet mine. "This to the Spirits I ask, bless this union and may we both know true peace from it." Chakotay finishes the prayer rising to his feet. His dimples are deep and his smile wide.

"Seven years ago I didn't even know your name, but now I cannot imagine my life without you," I cry. "I love you Chakotay, with every fiber of my soul in every dimension that could exist, I love you."

=/\=


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Star Trek Voyager: Trekflower AU....
> 
> The cake has been cut. The vows have been said. Now for Kathryn and Chakotay to live happily ever after?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may recognize a lot of the dialog from ‘Endgames.’ Believe you me it was painful to get as I loathe this episode of obvious C/7 reasons. I hope you like my version better!
> 
> Sadly I do not own Star Trek that honor belongs to CBS and Paramount.

_The hallway was dark with a flickering green light illuminating the way. The humid air made it difficult to take in a proper breath. A group of security Borg escorted her from all sides to meet their leader. To face their Queen. Kathryn walked with her chin held high, arms straight at her slender sides. Her demeanor was calm given that she was being marched to her inevitable doom. _

_She enters what was once Cargo Bay 2 but has since been converted into a Borg assimilation assembly. The Queen stares into Kathryn's cold eyes, a victorious grin across her pale skin. “Time to join the others,” the Queen says pointing to Kathyrn’s crew. But not just any crewmen, Chakotay, her husband. _

_His flesh had begun to turn pale. The veins beneath his skin are black with the flood of Borg nanoprobes coursing through his body. An ocular implant covers were his tattoo used to be. He is under the Queen’s control now._

_“Chakotay,” she gasps. _

_He answers with an all too familiar phrase, “we are Borg.” The drone that was once her husband is holding something in his arms. Kathryn takes a step closer to find he is holding an infant in the beginning stages of assimilation. Tubes and implants spring forth from its pink skin. Kathryn cries out in horror at the realization the babe is hers. Chakotay and her child have fallen victims to the Borg. Two more drone in a sea of billions. _

_Chakotay reaches out with his altered hand, he strokes her cheek gently. A shadowed echoe of how the man beneath the drone use to comfort her. But is touch was not for her comfort, two Borg tubular strikeout biting her skin. Fire burns down her neck, the nanoprobes flowing into her blood manipulating her flesh as it begins her transformation. “We are Borg,” Chakotay’s choired voice repeats in her head…_

=/\=

I'm startled awake from the images of my dream, my breathing is erratic and my heart pounds away. A sheen of cold sweat has my hairline damp. I frantically feel below the covers to find my stomach still enlarged with the baby and looking over at Chakotay I see he is still asleep. Pushing myself up I subtly check his face to confirm I'm awake and that he has not been assimilated. His skin is still bronze, his veins invisible, and his tattooed forehead rests snuggly into the pillow. 

I am relieved but can't go back to sleep with the horrifying images fresh in my mind, so I opt for sitting on the couch to clear my head. If we had a councilor on board, I'm sure they would want me to analyze what the dream meant. Get to the root of my fears and anxieties, after all, this was not the first time I feared my baby being assimilated. I accused Seven of doing just_ that_ weeks ago, after my reaction with the Shashin temporal shockwave. _Maybe I fear losing my loved ones?_ That's a reasonable fear, and what better villain than the Borg to personify that fear? God, that's ridiculous we haven't even come across a Borg drone, let alone a cube, since leaving the outpost months ago. 

Perhaps our string of smooth sailing has got me on edge. Never has it been this quiet since the Void, and ‘idle hands are the devil’s tools’ I once heard from a preacher in Indiana. Hissing to a slight cramp in my stomach, I hear Chakotay moving around in the bed room. 

"Kathryn?" he calls. 

"I'm on the couch, it's alright, go back to sleep," I try to calm him. Chakotay gets up despite my assurances. He finds me absentmindedly rubbing my stomach looking out the viewport. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he crosses the room in nothing but his sleeper bottoms and sits in front of me on the couch. Chakotay stills my hand forcing my attention to his concern face.

"Hey, what's the matter?" he asks. 

"It was just a bad dream. Nothing you can do, it happens," I smile weakly at him. 

"It may only be a dream but how you feel is real. Tell me about it," he brushes the hair behind my ear then cups my cheek. 

"I can't...it's...it’s too horrible," I shake my head at him. "Best let it drift away to be forgotten."

"Kathryn you are scaring me." 

I rest a hand on his kissing his palm. "It was just a dream," I say in my most comforting tone. "Since your up, mind grabbing me and the baby a snack?" I divert topics. 

"Of course," he springs to the replicator, ordering two bowls of vegetable soup and some herbal tea. We eat and say nothing more on the matter for the night, but I can tell he wants to. Given enough time I may tell him about the dream but right now I just want to forget.

=/\=

Chakotay and I have been inseparable for the three days of our honeymoon. Some of that time was spent on the holodeck strolling the streets of Venice, which I was surprised to learn was Chakotay's favorite city on Earth. When not on the holodeck Chakotay and I barricade ourselves in the captain's quarters consummating our marriage. One would think we were acting like a pair of rambunctious cadets, but as we have held back our feelings for each other for years, I see it as we are simply making up for lost time.

On the 4th day of being married, Chakotay reluctantly had to report back to the bridge while I stay behind. Now officially on maternity leave, I sit around racking my brain to figure out what to do with myself. Many of the reading materials say expecting mothers generally take this time to start nesting. Preparing for the baby’s arrival with clothing, toys, bottles, diapers, crib, and so forth. Only problem is I can’t invision where everything is going to go.

As Captain I do have the luxury of a spacious cabin, but it was not designed to accommodate a whole family, at least not for very long. An extra bedroom for the baby would go a long way for easing my indecisions I hope. 

I draw up a proposal for B’Elanna to look over, and see if it something engineering could get to before the baby arrives in the coming weeks. In the meantime Chakotay and I could spend that time in his old quarters while we renovate. I stand to head to the replicator for some tea when a sharp pain hits the side of my stomach. I take a deep breath and the sensation is gone just as quickly as it came. “Mommy did not like that kick,” I pat my stomach. “I know you are running out of room but that was just uncalled for.” 

I elect to walk to the mess hall instead for my morning tea. A little exercise is good for me and I haven’t seen anyone else but Chakotay for the last three days. Some different company then my own stray thoughts would be a welcome distraction.. 

The mess hall is rather scares, as Gamma shift is probably off to bed by now while Alpha shift has been on duty for an hour or so. Naomi skips around helping her Uncle Neelix clean some of the tables after the morning rush. “Captain,” she jumps to attention when she spots me. 

“At ease crewman,” I smile back. 

She relaxes a little and I select a padded chair nearest the viewport. “Are you hungry Captain? I could get Uncle Neelix to make whatever you or the baby wishes.”

“That’s very sweet Naomi, I think I’ll have a cup of peppermint tea and some scrambled eggs if it's not too much to ask?”

“Coming right up Captain,” she bounces off to the kitchen and I study the elongated stars as we pass by. Ahead of us off in the distance I notice an orange haze, course without any sensor readings, I can only speculate to what it is. Space debris, an undiscovered nebula, toxic discharge from a cloaked ship, hell it could even be a new type of life form. _Made that mistake once._ Whatever it is, I have confidence in my husband to take the proper steps to investigate. I, on the other hand, need to focus my attention to preparing for the baby, and making it down to engineering to request more living space for me and my growing family. 

Naomi brings me a plate of eggs with a cup of tea. I thank her before she heads off to her school work, and I sit alone watching as Voyager slowly inches its way closer to the orange dust.

=/\=

My curiosity gets the better of me, so I sneak onto the bridge just after Voyager descends into the nebula. I tell myself that it is because I want to show Chakotay the plans before presenting them to B’Elanna, but I really just miss being were the action is. I find that the bridge’s lights are dark and there is an air of tension from everyone. Their focus is on Tom at the helm. Only Tuvok acknowledges my presence as his station is adjacent to the lift. He gives me a nod and I take a stance near his console to view the readings.

“Bridge to Astrometrics, any more information on those neutrino emissions?” Chakotay asks, standing over Tom’s shoulder while he pilots. 

-Negative Commander, I cannot get a clear scan.- Seven’s voice comes through the comm system. 

“Distance to the center?” he asks. 

-Six Million kilometers-

On the view screen I think I see a shadow, a slight darkening of the dull orange coloring. The deck of Voyager rumbles underfoot and there are proximity warnings beeping around the room. On Tuvok’s display I see there is a spike in his readings. 

“I am detecting a tritanium signature four thousand kilometers off our starboard port,” Tuvok informs the bridge.

“Is it a ship?” I ask. My voice is a surprise to the crew and Chakotay spins around to see me at the security station with Tuvok. I grin sheepishly but remain next my Vulcan friend. 

“Possibly,” Tuvok replies.

“Whatever it is, it’s too close,” Tom adds, his focus still at the helm. 

“Evasive maneuvers,” I order, falling back into my old habits of command. 

“There is another tritanium signature right on top of us,” Kim shouts. My eyes dart to the screen. Out from the orange haze a large shadow reveals an enormous Borg cube. 

My stomach tightens in a cramp of fear from the sight of my nightmares. “Tom!” I shout out, as if he doesn’t already see the impending danger of colliding into the side of the cube. Tom takes Voyager into a steep dive. I grab hold of the panel and Tuvok supports me from behind. Tom should be nicknamed ‘Flying Ace’ because he narrowly misses the ship. 

Chakotay barks out, “get us out of here now.”

“Aye Commander,” he replies all-too-happily. 

Chakotay runs a hand through his hair in frustration then crosses the room to me. “Are you all right?” he asks. 

“I’m fine…_we_ are fine,” I correct. Tuvok relinquishes me into Chakotay’s arms. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“I think the better question is what is the ship doing here Commander?” I nod towards the orange viewscreen. “Maternity leave or not I want to be informed of all threats to Voyager,” I say, moving out of his arms and towards my ready room. My brain re-activates the autopilot of command. 

I enter regardless to the fact this has been Chakotay’s ready room for the past several weeks. I hear him hand over command to Tom following me inside. Another knot forms in my stomach from remembering my very vivid, very terrifying dream from last night. 

I plop myself behind the desk, once again my chair is too high, but I leave it. “I’m listening Commander,” I say, discreetly breathing out the discomforting feeling of worry in my belly. 

“We detected evidence of several wormholes lying inside that nebula. I ordered us in to take a closer look, to see if it was a way home,” he reports. My eyebrows rise in interest. Wormholes? A way home? Hell, even just a small shortcut to the Alpha quadrant would mean everything to this crew and me. 

“Assemble a senior staff meeting in 30 minutes. I want to be fully briefed,” I say struggling to my feet from the heightened chair. 

Chakotay doesn’t leave right away, instead he rounds the desk to wrap his arms around me. His brown eyes are as worried as I feel. “Kathryn I would have _never_ been so reckless to come in here if I even suspected a Borg Cube nearby.”

“It wasn’t reckless. It was a calculated risk made by the commanding officer. Hope for the best plan for the worst, the captains’ motto my love.” I assure him with a smile. He breathes a sigh of relief and I feel him lighten around me. “If it helps I would have done the same thing,” I say before taking his lips for the first time as husband and wife in the captain’s ready room.

=/\=

The senior staff is gathered in the briefing room, we all surround the wall monitor that displays the information collected on the nebula. “There is no evidence to suggest that the cube detected us,” Tuvok begins.

“Where is it now?” Chakotay asks. 

“Approximately three lightyears away,” Seven answers. 

“How could they not have seen us? We came within 10 meters of their hull,” Tom asks to noone in particular.

“It is logical to presume that the Borg sensors were disrupted by the same phenomenon as Voyager’s,” Tuvok responds. 

Seven inputs her data onto the screen and dozens of dots appear. “I have determined there are at least 47 Borg ships in that nebula.” 

A rock forms in my chest looking at the screen. The promise of home is so close, but to go back into that nebula would most certainly be suicide. “I hate to say this, but we can’t go back,” Chakotay says and I strongly agree. 

“We can’t just give up on those wormholes,” Ensign Kim protests. 

“Oh yes we can,” I shoot him a look. 

“But-”

“Sorry Mr. Kim you might be the Captain someday but not today.” I give him a sympathetic pat on the arm. He’s young and disappointed, frankly so am I. But the safety of this crew is not worth the risk.

=/\=

I never did seem to make it down to engineering today. Being greeted by a Borg cube with the front end of our ship certainly distracted me from any other plans I might have had for myself. I eat dinner quietly but I can feel Chakotay’s eyes. I’m so lost in thought that I barely even acknowledge him sitting next to me.

“Kathryn talk to me,” he finally breaks the silence. 

“What?” My train of thought now forgotten. 

“You are focusing harder on your food now, then when you were looking for a cure on New Earth. Talk to me, tell me what’s going on. Please.” 

I sigh heavily. _Where to begin?_ “Last night I had a dream about the Borg,” I stare at my food. I can’t meet his eyes just yet. “I watched the crew being assimilated. I saw _you_ assimilated.”

“Kathryn,” he placed a hand over mine. 

“You were holding a baby. It had implants and tubes coming out of its skin and that’s when I realized it was our child.” I place a protective hand on my stomach as tears wet my eyes. “And then today we come across a nebula crawling with enough Borg to assimilate the whole galaxy. I don’t know, it just felt a little surreal, like I was dreaming of the future somehow.”

“Oh Kathryn, I’m so sorry,” he places his other hand on my stomach protectively as well. “All I can say is that it was just a dream.”

“Ever notice how all my anxieties center around the Borg assimilating our child?” I laugh half-heartedly. 

“You want to protect the baby and the biggest threat to humankind just happens to operate heavily in the Delta Quadrant,” his soothing voice relaxes my nerves. 

“Lucky us,” I say sarcastically. 

“We _are_ lucky Kathryn. Voyager is lucky to have you as her Captain, we are lucky to have traveled so far in only 7 years. I am certainly the luckiest man on this ship because I have you as my wife and mother of my child.” I look up at him, his dimples are peeking through. “I would also say I am the luckiest man in this galaxy because I get to kiss you...to taste you... to run my hands over your ivory skin.”

“Chakotay,” I can start to feel myself blush. 

“I am lucky because you let me do those things to you. You let me into your light _and_ you let me give you pleasure,” Chakotay’s eyes darken and he leans ever closer with each word. “We will take each day one step at a time, right now we are not assimilated and our child is safely stored in its mommy’s belly. I say that calls for a little celebration.” He takes my lips and I immediately part them for him. His tongue charges onto mine. His hand, once on my round belly, travels southward sending a throbbing beat of desire to my center. I stop his hand only because I know there is little room for him to work in this seated position with my stomach as large as it is. 

“You’re right. I need to celebrate that I have the most wonderful man in the galaxy as my husband,” I purr pushing myself up and leading him into the bedroom where we will have ample room to celebrate.

=/\=

I walk Chakotay to the bridge this morning, as I am determined to talk with B'Elanna today about enlarging mine and Chakotay’s quarters. I showed Chakotay the plans over breakfast and he thinks that they are a wonderful idea. Course I’m sure he would say that to anything I suggest as he and I are both hopelessly still locked within the honeymoon mindset.

I’m a little tired this morning and have a few residual cramps from Chakotay’s expert love making. One would think he was trying to create twins with all the abandon regard for emptying himself within me multiple times last night. His stamina and recovery time is rather impressive even for a man half is age. I squirm with the memory, pressing myself into him, my hand resting comfortably on his tight shapely ass. Three days for a honeymoon really isn’t enough time for us. I sneak a peek up to his face while giving him a light squeeze. He clears his throat, dipping his head to hide a smile.

“Kathryn,” he elongates my name as though it were a plea. “I’m about to start my shift, don’t make me regret bringing you along.”

“Whatever do you mean?” I tease squeezing again taking his lips. 

“Halt turbolift,” he orders before pushing me up against the wall, blocking me with his body. I pull at his uniform but he stops my hands. “Oh no, I don’t have time for that,” he growls between kisses hiking up the green dress past my thighs. My stomach tightens with anticipation. With one hand on my breast the other feathers its way to my center. His powerful kisses keep me in this moment as I must remember to breathe when given opportunities. But before reaching his destination a chirp of the comm systems stills us and Tuvok’s voice cuts through the air. 

-Bridge to Commander Chakotay- 

Clearing his throat to reset his professional demeanor “Chakotay here,” he answers. 

-Commander you are needed on the bridge-

“Understood, Chakotay out,” he taps his badge, dropping my dress. We quickly check each other to make sure we’re decent before continuing to deck 1. The doors open and I follow Chakotay onto the bridge.

“Report,” he calls out taking a seat at his command chair. Tom is at the helm so I decide to watch from my own chair, but determined to restrict myself to being a spectator only. 

“It is a temporal rift sir and I am detecting nadion discharges on the other side of it,” Kim replies.

“Weapons fire,” I whisper but I’m sure Chakotay already knows that. 

“There is a vessel coming through the rift,” Kim shouts this time. 

“Is it Klingon?” All eyes locked onto the screen. 

“No it’s… it’s Federation.” This news is a surprise to everyone as a small shuttle sails through the rift and is headed straight for us. “We are being hailed.”

“On screen,” Chakotay orders.

A white haired woman donned with admiral bars stare down at us because of the strange angle of her imaging relay. The elderly woman barks, “recalibrate your deflector to emit an anti-tachinon pulse. You have to seal that rift.” 

“It’s customary to exchange greetings before making demands,” I say to the woman who appears to be an older version of myself. _So much for spectating._

“Close the rift,” she orders again. But we all remain still. “If you haven’t noticed Captain I out rank you,” she gives me an icy glare. I singal Harry and he does as the admiral orders. A blue beam of anti-tachinons sprike the center of the rift causing it to collapse on itself. 

“I did what you asked now tell me what the hell is going on,” I turn back to my older self. 

“Isn’t it obvious Captain?” she cocks her brow paired with a familiar mischievous smile. “I’ve come to bring Voyager home.”

=/\=

I anxiously wait in the transporter room with my First Officer and Security Chief. I may _technically_ be on maternity leave but an older image of myself claiming to know how to get Voyager home demands my attention more than picking out baby clothes. Not only that, if she really is me, I think I would be the only person on this ship to know for sure.

The transport pad begins to glow indicating an active transfer. The glimmering blue lights fade and standing before us, in an all red uniform marked with a vice admiral’s bar, white hair quaffed into a low bun at the nape of her neck and a cocky grin, we greet Admiral Janeway. 

“Welcome aboard,” I greet the admiral 

“Oh, it’s good to be back. Nice to see you rolled out the welcome wagon for me,” she says. It’s strange her voice is reminiscent of my mother’s. “But shouldn’t you be on leave,” she directs a firm glare at me. 

“When your future self comes calling, it would be rude not to answer it in person.”

The admiral nods her understanding. Turning her attention to Chakotay she gives a polite smile but there is a sadness to her, I can see it in her eyes. It is the same look I learned to hide for years. Concern eats at me for what could have happened to make her look at him with such indifference. Problem is, with the Temporal Prime Directive, what answers will I get to the burning questions I now have. 

“Tuvok will you please escort the Admiral to my ready room. I’ll be there shortly,” I ask. 

“Voyager may be a museum in my time, but I do remember the way.” She steps off the pad down to Tuvok locking a friendly arm with the stern Vulcan. “But it will be nice to see my younger comrades again.” Tuvok escorts the admiral out allowing me and Chakotay to talk alone for a moment. 

“What do you want to do Captain?” he starts. 

“I have no idea,” I say using my hands to support my aching back. I’ve been on my feet too long already and everything is throbbing . “Exactly what _is_ the protocol here?”

“Well it’s definitely against the Temporal Prime Directive.”

“That’s putting it mildly.”

“Well, I don’t know _Admiral_ Janeway but if she is anything like _Captain_ Janeway then she has a good reason to be here.”

“Or at least she _believes_ she does,” my brow furrows and glance down at my gut running a hand along it. “The only way I’m going to figure out what’s going on is to have a little chat with myself.”

=/\= 

“Oh the almighty Temporal Prime Directive,” the admiral rolls her eyes. “Take my advice, it is much less of a headache once you ignore it,” she says taking a sip of tea, which apparently is all I drink in the future. We are seated side by side on the couch of my ready room. I convinced Chakotay to let me talk with her alone but would consult him if any command decisions needed to be made. The Admiral may outrank us both, but she is the stranger in this timeline.

“You’ve obviously decided to ignore it or we would not be having this conversation,” I accuse her. 

“A lot has happened to me since I was you.”

“Well I’m still me, and this is still _my_ ship. So no more talk of the future unless I say so. Understood?”

“All right, then let’s talk about the past,” she stands to pace the room in my usual path. I watch from the couch, rubbing at an angry muscle in my side . “Yesterday Chakotay detected elevated neutrino emissions in a nebula in grid 9-8-6. He thought it might be a way home. Well he was right, I’ve come to tell the both of you to take Voyager back to that nebula.” She stills, leaning up against the railing that separates the room. 

“It was crawling with Borg,” I snort. 

“I’ve brought technology which will get us past them. Oh I don’t blame you for being sceptical,” she smiles at me. “But if you can’t trust yourself who can you trust?”

“For the sake of argument say I believe everything you are telling me. The future you come from sounds pretty good. Voyagers home and is turned into a museum, I’m an admiral.”

“So why would you want to tamper with such a rosy timeline? To answer that I would have to tell you more than you want to know. But suffice it to say if you don’t do what I’m suggesting its going to take Voyager another 16 years… and there will be casualties,” the huskiness in her voice grows, my usual technique when emphasizing a point. “I know exactly what your thinking?”

“You’ve also become a telepath?”

“I used to be you remember?” she snips. I suppose this conversation isn’t going the way _she_ planned. “You’re asking yourself, is she really who she says she is or is this some sort of deception? For all you know I could be a member of species 8472 in disguise. Have your people examine my shuttle, tell them to have a close look at the weapons systems and armor technology. In the meantime the Doctor can confirm my identity.”

=/\= 

The Doctor examines Admiral Janeway, while Chakotay and I wait in his office. Briefing Chakotay on everything she and I discussed, my husband and I contemplate what we are willing to do given the facts presented to us. “16 years is very doable Kathryn,” he leans into the desk while I look up at him from the chair.

“But people are going to die.”

“The hazards of life aboard a Starship,” he tells me before the Doctor enters. 

“I am finished with the scans,” he announces to us. 

“And?” I ask. 

“Keep in mind I ran every test I could think of to find discrepancies and all the results are conclusive. She is you Captain, approximately 26 years from now,” he reports. “I also found that she is equipped with a neural processor that has a Federation signature, which was invented by me sometime in the future.”

“What is it for?” Chakotay asks. 

“Apparently it allows her to control certain ships from her time. She ordered me not to divulge much more as you disapprove of violating some Temporal Prime Directive?”

“Thank you Doctor.” I stand and the baby gives me a sharp kick. I inhale quickly, as if I don’t have enough to think about right now. 

“Are you alright Captain?” The Doctor pulls out his tricorder, but I wave him off. 

“Growing pains, I’m fine.”

“May I suggest some rest,” Chakotay says lending me an arm. “The Admiral is not going anywhere, and I can oversee the examination of her shuttle.” 

Pained by this long day, I take his arm willingly. I can’t even remember the last time I ate. The baby’s protest for food has gone unheard and I better submit to its demands before they decide to mutiny.

=/\=

Eating a lunch of tomato soup and grilled cheese lulled the baby into a less active state. Taking advantage I rest on the bed thinking over what to do about the admiral’s proposal. She wants to fly Voyager back into a nebula that is teeming with Borg and use their Transwarp Hub. The hub would get Voyager home in a matter of hours once we enter the conduit, but it is also how the Borg seem to have a presence in every corner of space, it is their way to assimilate the whole galaxy. It is a dangerous weapon and should be destroyed.

-Admiral Janeway to the Captain.-

I tap my comm badge placed on the nightstand, “Go ahead.”

-Can we speak? I’m outside.-

I chuckle, she is asking for my permission to enter her own room. “The access code is the same, unless you changed it sometime in the future.”

I hear the door open and the Admiral makes her way into the bedroom. She takes a seat on the edge of the bed. “Back bothering you?” she asks sympathetically. I nod. No need to explain the discomfort, she has been here before.

“May I?” She reaches over my body to massage the exact spot that has constantly given me pain. I breathe out a sigh of pleasure to the muscle being worked at, slowly relaxing into her touch. She smiles, “that was always the problem with having Chakotay in command, there was no one here to massage my back.” 

“Admiral I’ve been thinking.”

“Oh no that’s not good,” she teases. We both chuckle. 

“The Transwarp Hub-”

“You want to destroy it, don’t you?” she looks disappointed. 

“It’s our duty to humanity,” I argue. 

She sighs discouraged but continues circling the muscle. “You decided to put the lives of strangers before the lives of your crew, don’t make that mistake again.”

“You got them home, _so_ I will too. With your knowledge we can attack the Borg in a away the Federation of this time never could. We could save millions, even billions from being assimilated from your viewpoint.” 

The admiral jumps to her feet, hands placed on her hips I so often do while pacing my room. “Your not in charge right now Chakotay is. He’ll listen to me,” she growls. 

I throw my legs off the bed rising to face her. “Listen you old hag, this is _my_ ship I have the final say.”

“I really don’t give a damn about the millions of people that may or may not be assimilated. I came back to protect this crew, my husband, and my daughter,” she yells. 

I take in a sharp breath, how could I ever become so heartless, but then her words hit me. _Daughter?_ “I’m going to have a daughter?” I ask my older self. 

“Shit! I forgot you didn’t know,” she turns her back to me. “It has been so long I forgot. I forgot a lot of things. I’ve started to forget her face.”

“What do you mean?” 

“I promised myself I wasn’t going to tell you, but it seems the only way you are going to listen to me,” she turns. Our blue eyes lock onto each other. I would say it is like looking in a mirror but I don’t recognize this woman, she is cold and calculating. She is a Starfleet admiral, devoid of any life beyond duty. _What the hell happened?_

“If you do not use that Transwarp Hub, our daughter is going to die. Four years from now,” she says coldly. 

My knees buckle. She catches me then eases me to sit. 

“H-How?” I can barely get the words out. 

“Voyager will come across a hostile race known as the Fen Domar in a few years. While under attack there will be a hullbreach in Cargo Bay 2. Seven, Naomi, Harry, and my daughter were all lost that day.” I gasp in horror but she presses on. “Chakotay will never be the same after the incident and neither will you. Remember the time spent in the Void? Well after her death, your depression will be so much worse. You push everyone away, you push your husband away. Your pain eats at him and 3 months before you reach Earth he dies of a broken heart.”

“But you have come back-you told me what is to come, maybe I can-”

“Even if you manage to avoid the Fen Domar, limit all contact, used every shortcut I’ve found, it would still take you 16 years Kathryn. Twenty-two people will die before you reach home. Can you honestly say that 22 people, including your daughter, is worth your peace of mind to deal a blow against the Borg?”

A cramp forms in my side. It lasts just a little longer than the ones I’ve been experiencing all day. I take a deep breath and try to relax given all the information. The muscles loosen and just when I think the cramping is done another one forms, this time more intense than the last. Hissing at the discomfort, the Admiral’s eyes flash wide at me.

“Kathryn, you’ve been cramping all day haven’t you?” she asks. 

I stare at her, breathing through the tightening sensation, I know she is me but how could she possibly know that. I nod. 

“The baby is coming.” 

“No, it’s too early, I have a few more weeks,” I deny but the pain is only increasing.

“I know, but it doesn’t matter. She is coming now. It’s time for you to deliver our daughter, so that I can save her.” I take her hands and she helps me walk to the turbolift. 

No she must be wrong. This is just a false alarm, Braxton Hicks contractions. Another spasming pain has me doubled over in the lift. She taps her communicator to open a channel, “Admiral Janeway to Chakotay.”

-Go ahead-

“If it is not too much trouble please meet me and your wife in sickbay.”

-Is the Captain okay?-

“Everything is fine dear, Kathryn is going into labor. The baby is coming now,” she explains.

-I’ll be right there-

=/\=

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have never been with child, thus I really have no clue what going into labor would really be like. Kudos to all the mothers out there, it sounds like a life changing moment.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Star Trek Voyager: Trekflower AU....
> 
> Just when the honeymoon is over, Voyager's command team is greeted by Admiral Kathryn Janeway arrival to the Delta Quadrant. Will Captain Janeway do as the Admiral wishes after hearing about the dim future?...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sadly we come to the end of this story. Thank you to everyone that have been following, sending Kudos and comments, really keeping me motivated and on track to finish this work. I am nothing without these encouragements from YOU the readers.

=/\=

To my dismay the Doctor confirms what the Admiral already knew. I have gone into labor two weeks earlier than anticipated. The Admiral gives off a smug ‘I told you so’ look as she helps me into a medical gown and onto the biobed. She braids my hair away from my face while waiting for Chakotay to arrive, she assures me I’ll want it that way in the hours to come. The Doctor places a cortical scanner to my temple then three scanners to my belly, prepared or not my daughter is coming now. 

Chakotay is the picture of cool, flying through the sliding doors and firmly planting himself at my side. Then again, he didn’t just learn of our soon to arrive daughter’s fate. Taking my hand he beams at me. The contractions have subsided for now but it is only a matter of time before they are back. Childbirth is a marathon, not a sprint. 

“How are you doing?” he asks.

“It’s too early Chakotay, I didn’t have time to prepare anything,” I whimper to the long list of things yet to be done. 

“It’s fine Kathryn, what could a newborn do with much more than some clothes, blankets, and diapers anyway? I’m sure Neelix could replicate of few things while we wait.” He rests a palm on my cheek, gliding over the skin with his thumb. 

“Commander I would like a word with you,” the Admiral interrupts.

“Tom is in command of Voyager right now Admiral. If it is ship business, I suggest you take it up with him,” he tells her but his brown eyes are solely fixed with mine. 

“Commander, I will speak with you now,” she orders, arms firmly locked across her chest. 

“I’ll be right back,” he whispers kissing my hand before following her away. 

In their absence the Doctor adjusts the bed for my comfort. My torso and head rise to a relaxed seated position, hell I didn’t realize the biobeds did that. Surely I am going to be here a while and laying flat on my back is not much of an option this far into a pregnancy. A quick adjustment to the silver devices and I can see the monitors light up with the baby’s vital signs. 

The pressure in my belly tightens again as the monitors signal another contraction. Gripping the sides of the biobed does little to ease the pain as my husband confers with the Admiral in the Doctor's office. I don’t like it. I don’t like that she wanted to talk to him privately. I’m angry she is taking him away from me. I am in labor, I want my husband. I _need_ Chakotay. The Admiral had _her_ husband during this process, why won’t she let me have mine? 

I can see Chakotay through the glass, I sense the Admiral is up to something. Chakotay’s body language stiffens and his face darkens with concern the longer they talk. _What the hell is she telling him? _Would she make good on her threat to force Chakotay to take action while am in no position to oppose her. Though the Admiral is me genetically, our minds are wired very differently. I was very clear about discussing the future, but she seems to hold no concern to that warning. 

I can’t help but moan as the contractions swells yet again, the pressure and pain an all encompassing sensation through my abdomen and back. Chakotay charges out of the office, offering a supporting hand to me at the height of the intensity. The Admiral watches from the doorway, arms folded with a stern glare directed at us. 

“Commander. Time is of the essence,” she says urgently. 

“I understand Admiral,” he answers. My grip loosens marking the end of this contraction, my breath labored. “You are a strong beautiful warrior Kathryn, but I need to go. We are going home. Our daughter is going to see home,” he kisses my forehead. His dimples blaze but his eyes are sad. 

_She told him about the future, she told him about our daughter. _

Is there no line the Admiral won't cross? Is there no rule she won't break? She has abandoned all my principles I hold as a Starfleet Captain to get her way. It is disgusting. 

“I can’t do this without you,” I plea to keep Chakotay here with me. “Voyager is her home as long as we are together.”

“It’s going to be alright Captain,” the Admiral takes a position next to the bed. “I have an idea that will allow us to have our cake and eat it too.” 

“What are you planning?” I accuse.

“Just promise me you’ll take care of her,” a single tear slides down her cheek. I hold firm on my glare, but am surprised by her tender touch to my arm. Before I can pull back with displeasure she retreats to enact whatever plan she has Chakotay convinced of. 

“What does she want you to do Chakotay?”

“I have to go,” he withdraws.

“No! Please! Stay with me. Whatever she wants you can’t give in. No matter what she tells you about our daughter. We can figure this out together,” I call out hoping to break her hold over him. “You have to destroy that Transwarp Hub, that is an order Commander,” I bark in one last attempt to stop him. He pauses, his back to me, but I can tell he is torn. Chakotay is being pulled by the two Kathryn’s of this ship, like a toy caught between competing dogs. One of us has to win this tug-of-war for the sake of Chakotay’s spirit. 

“It’s going to be alright Kathryn. I love you.” 

And with that last affirmation of love, he was gone. I have lost the fight to keep my husband. He has left me for the other woman. In a span of a moment I have been abandoned, with no idea as to what _she_ is planning. I am utterly alone, fully consumed in the physical struggles of preparing for the big push. Hundreds of thousands of years in human development and the process of giving birth is still one of the most painful and life changing moments. Chakotay is not here, my baby’s father is sacrificing _this_ present for _her_ future. A future that may never come.

The rush of emotions has me weeping both from the pain, and the feeling of abandonment. Neelix arrives shortly to sickbay to help in whatever capacity he can. He will have to do, filling the void of emotional supporter, that should have been Chakotay. The only thing I can do now is hope for the best because the worst has just happened.

=/\=

The Doctor hovers, checking my progress every few minutes or so. “Six centimeters Captain. You are progressing just fine.” The EMH has had a smile plastered across his face with every update for the past 3 hours. It is maddening. I want to wipe that stupid grin off his face as the contractions send searing pains through my body.

“That is very good, you are more than halfway done,” Neelix encourages. 

_Halfway my ass! That just means there are 4 more painful centimeters of dilation to go before the real work begins._

“Remember to take a big breath in through the nose then slowly release out through the mouth Captain. Try to focus your attention on something other than the pain,” Neelix says, once again trying to be helpful. 

_Focus. Focus._ I tell myself, but there’s not much to draw my attention in the plane medical bay. One monitor beeps in time with the baby’s heartbeat, another shows the frequency of my contractions. I glance at Neelix. His brown spots highlighting his face catches my eye and I begin to count them as I breathe.

Though the contractions subside in periods of rest, my back is tormented relentlessly with a sharp pain that can only be compared to the time I spent as a Cardassian P.O.W. Frankly the Cardassians had a gentler touch. The agony has me in a cold sweat, and I can’t help but scream out when sudden flares spike so abruptly my vision tunnels from the sensation. The Doctor has already administered more medicine than he feels comfortable with. But the hyposprays do nothing to take the edge off. He believes that because of the rapid development of the fetus in a short period of time, my body is ill prepared to give birth this soon to a fully matured baby. Suffice it to say, I will suffer every painful ounce of this delivery before it is done, if I don’t blackout first. 

The comm system sounds the warning for a red-alert followed by Chakotay’s voice cutting through the howling alarm. “All hands to your stations."

Neelix and the Doctor exchange a glance. 

“Computer transfer the EMH program to the mobile-emitter.” The Doctor orders before quickly slapping his personal piece of tech from the 29th century onto his arm. “Captain I am going to activate the forcefield restraints around your upper torso. They will be uncomfortable but it will keep you secure to the bed,” he explains typing commands into the computer. 

“What is going on?” I manage to ask before I’m forced to continue my mindful breathing. An invisible weight presses on my shoulders as the restraints energize into place. 

“I do not know, but you have other things to worry about at the moment,” he scowls at me, then glances at the monitors. 

“Why? What’s wrong? Is it the baby?” I ask frantically. 

“Forgive me Captain I misspoke,” he rounds the panel placing a comforting hand on mine. “What I meant to say is that you are in active labor and should only be concerned with what is happening right here.” 

“The hell I do, this is my ship,” I hiss through clenched teeth. 

“And this is _your_ baby. Stubborn as you may be, the baby and your body are the ones giving the orders right now,” he responds with his familiar annoyed bedside manner. 

Unexpectedly the ship pitches with an all too familiar weapons strike against Voyager’s stern. If not for the restraints I would have ended up on the floor with Neelix. Voyager has been taken into battle without its Captain. Whatever the Admiral’s plan is, hopefully _I_ can live with the consequences.

=/\=

It is unclear how much time passes as the whole ship vibrates with every strike against Voyager. The Doctor instincts to grab his emitter was fortuitous as E.P.S. conduits spray sparks all around us and partial power was lost during the firefight. Had the Doctor gone offline, I would have only Neelix here to deliver my child.

Frustratingly my cervix seems to be as stubborn as I am, dilating at non-warp speeds. The baby is content in taking her time as well as keeping me away from the bridge. The ship rocks with one last violent burst. Poor Neelix has been unable to keep himself from the floor during all of this and my shoulders feel bruised from the restraints. Just as I believe the ship is tearing itself apart everything is calm. 

“All hands stand down red-alert. Be advised we have made it home,” Chakotay says with an echo of cheers from the bridge crew filling the room before the transmission is cut off. Both the Doctor and Neelix are beaming with joy, but I on the other hand cannot celebrate. What is the price I will have to pay for this triumph? Chakotay had the command but everything he does while in that Captain’s chair is my burden to bare. 

The Doctor removes the forcefield as Chakotay appears through the doorway. His uniform is disheveled. There is a mix of sweat and blood covering his tattoo, a frantic look of concern painted in his features as he bolts to me. 

“Kathryn,” he sighs relief taking my hand. “Are you alright?” 

I can’t even look at him. He chose _her_ over me. He chose to follow her orders without consulting _me_. It is not just insulting as his Captain and commanding officer, but as his wife. 

“Report,” I say coldly. Slipping out of his grip to rub at the ache in my shoulders. 

“Kathryn,” his voice is gentle. “Voyager is home. We are back in the Alpha Quadrant.” I can’t read his expression. Is it shame or guilt he conveys for leaving me. 

“Am I to believe then that you use the Transwarp hub against my direct orders not to?”

“Kathryn-”

“No Commander, it was our duty as Starfleet officers to destroy that hub. Not use it for our own personal gain,” I bark. 

“You may have the final say to what happens aboard this ship. But don’t think for one second that you get the final say when it comes to our daughter,” his voice is harsh. “When it comes to making decisions about her, we do it together.”

“_We_ did not decide to save her this way. _You_ did. You and the Admiral. You two may have saved our daughter from _her_ timeline, but just how long do you think it will take before the Queen decides to send her entire force to Earth Chakotay?” I holler.

Neelix and the Doctor discreetly retreat to his office. 

Chakotay dropped his head in frustration. Taking a few breaths before meeting my eye. “The Borg have been destroyed Kathryn. The Admiral stayed behind to save us. She let herself be assimilated so she could infect the Queen and all her drones using a neurogenic pathogen. She sacrificed herself, just as you would have, to see us home safely.”

My anger lessens. His palm rests on my cheek as his words sink in. “We will be in Earth’s orbit in a matter of hours, and the Borg hub is no more,” he explains. A new weight presses on me, I suppose it is my turn to feel guilt from this whole situation. I had written the Admiral off as a cold hearted hag, when in fact she gave everything to bring us back home. Perhaps there is hope for my future yet. We are home. My daughter will be born in the Alpha Quadrant. The Admiral accomplished everything she set out to do, even if it was behind her own back.

=/\=

Hope for the best but plan for the worst. I have used the phrase to model my whole Starfleet career around after my father’s death. Admiral Janeway’s arrival in our time had me planning for the worst, but now thanks to her and Chakotay, I can plan on our daughter growing up outside of a starship’s bulkheads.

While we orbit Earth’s atmosphere, I watch my husband as he glows with joy for the bundle of new life resting in his arms. I expect the road before us will be much sweeter than the one the Admiral had to endure. I will forever be in her debt and will strive to live the life she dreamed of having with her lost family. We are home. _We are all home_. 

My daughter will grow up knowing nothing of the Starship life. Her feet will run on real grass and soil, not that produced in a holodeck. Her skin will be warmed by the light of the sun and she will breathe in fresh air. This miracle of life nestled in Chakotay’s strong arms will not grow up worrying about Kazon or Vadian or Borg. She will grow up carefree of these adult worries. 

She is miraculously beautiful. She takes on her father’s raven black hair, and lightly bronzed skin. But she has my nose and I suspect blue eyes as well. Only time will tell. 

“Have you two decided on a name?” the Doctor asks, filling out her birth certificate. His second in seven long years. 

“I had a thought,” Chakotay whispers as to not wake the sleeping babe. “Shenandoah. It means beautiful daughter of the stars.”

“Shenandoah Janeway,” I say, feeling out the words. I am in awe that it will be what the baby, that was once inside me, will be known to the world as. “Shenandoah Janeway. I love it,” I repeat blissfully. 

Exhaustion claims me, I spent the whole journey from the Transwarp Hub, back in the Delta Quadrant, to Earth in active labor. I could never have planned on Shenandoah being born just above Earth. 

“I love you so much, you are an amazing woman Kathryn Janeway.”

“You were expecting less?” I say amused. He kisses my forehead and places her in my arms. I can’t stop looking at her pinked face. Shenandoah, my beautiful daughter of the stars.

=/\=

The Doctor discharges us but warns that I will be tender for a while and should take it easy. I fully intend to follow his instruction as I now consider my work to be complete, our mission is done. The great odyssey this crew has endured over the last seven years is over.

Chakotay carries Shena, as we make it back to my unaltered quarters to rest. I guess it is a good thing I never made it to engineering. Shenandoah will only be spending a few days here before we disembark for a whole new life. 

Right now Chakotay is in the living room watching her, while I rest. I am stunned by the dramatic change of my body once again. Just 36 hours ago I had a watermelon sized stomach with a baby under my skin, pressing on my organs, kicking my flesh, and causing me to use the bathroom every few minutes. Now my pudgy abdomen hangs loose, my body begins the process of restoring itself, and my lower half aches from the long hours of labor.

I hear her cry and I bolt out of the bed. Chakotay paces the room but to no avail. “Do you think she is hungry?” I ask examining her upset face. 

“It’s worth a shot,” he coos. “Have a seat and I’ll bring her to you.”

I scurry over to the couch grabbing a pillow to help me support her in my weakened state. It also provides the perfect height to have her reach my swollen liquid filled breasts. Easing myself down, I pull open my blouse and Chakotay transfers her into my arms to attempt feeding. She latched well in sickbay with the Doctors guidance but I’m afraid I will not be able to recreate the same results on my own. 

Tickling her nose to signal it is time to eat, Shena’s mouth opens wide and I pull her close as instructed earlier. Chakotay stands ready to help if I need it, mostly to ease my anxieties of being a new mother. We see her bite down, jawline working at the tender tissue, and away she goes. “She’s a natural,” Chakotay smiles. 

“She must get it from her father,” I give him a wink. He grins sliding into the seat next to me. We both watch on as the beautiful girl eats to her heart’s content.

As suspected, her eyes have indeed turned out to be blue. She stares up at us in what I hope is to begin memorizing the loving faces of her parents. When she is finished I unlatch her and place Shenandoah once more in her father’s care. I don’t want to let her go but sitting too long is quite uncomfortable at the moment. 

“Kathryn,” he whispers, Shenandoah slowly nodding off in his safe arms. It may be the adrenaline hormones from giving birth still in my system but I swear Chakotay looks so much more handsome while holding a baby, especially a baby that is part him and part me. “Can you bring me my medicine bundle, it’s in my drawer next to the bed.”

I nod and collect the fur bundle from our room, placing it on the coffee table before him. Chakotay adjusts Shenandoah so she is supported in one of his arms, it is amazing he has shifted so naturally into fatherhood. He unwraps the animal skin moving the items inside out of the way. The bird wing, the akoonah, the engraved black and orange stones, and an oval white stone I have not seen before. Once the items are removed he places Shenandoah in the center and wraps the tanned hide around her.

I watch as he works and soon he waves me over to pick her up. I worry that this much movement of her tiny body will upset her, but I can tell this is important for Chakotay. Scooping her up, fur and all, I await further instructions as he circles the table. Pressing into my back, his cheek nuzzled into mine, one arm wrapped around to support me holding her, his other hand resting gently on her head.

"Ah-koo-chee-moya. We are far from the sacred places of our ancestors. We are far from the bones of our people,” he begins quietly. “I present this child, Shenandoah Janeway, to the Spirits as my daughter, descendant of my people, the future of my life, and mothered by this beautiful woman. I ask the Spirits to protect her. To allow her to know peace. To let her be one with her animal guide, and to grow up knowing how much she is loved by her mother and me. This to the Spirits I ask." He finishes, kissing her forehead and then mine. 

I blink back tears of joy. Chakotay is so amazing, I don’t know how I got so lucky. 

"I have another gift for you my dear," he collects the white stone from the table and holds it out for me to examine. 

"Is it to bless and protect our child with?" I ask remembering a similar gift just a few days ago. 

"It is. In a few months once we are acquainted with her personality I will engrave it with a symbol that represents her and add it to the bundle," he explains. 

"Did this stone come from New Earth as well?”

“No,” his dimples appear. “Your stone was my only momento from there. This stone came from the arboretum on the Markonian outpost. The moment I saw the flower bloom in the water I knew.”

“What?” I lean into him. My head rests on his shoulder and I lose myself in his coffee brown eyes. 

“I knew to expect our future together to be stronger and more beautiful than a supernova."

My face pulls into an even wider smile. "I may not have a rock to prove it, but I too realized something at the outpost." He hums for me to continue. "I knew I had to see you as a father one day,” my voice soft as tears form. “I just didn’t expect you to choose to be one with me.”

Chakotay brushes away the tears. "I believe there is no universe, no timeline, no alternate reality in which we are not together holding our baby. You and she are the suns I orbit. Your love fills every micron of my being across space and time. I love you Kathryn." 

He seals his declaration of devotion with a kiss to my lips. The first we will share as parenthood dawns on us. A new era of our lives together about to begin. I truly believe this is how it was meant to be. There is no other way this journey of Voyager could have ended other than lovingly embraced in each others arms. 

Hope for the best _and_ plan for the best. For our future is brightest when we are together.

=/\= The End =/\=

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special shout out thanks to Chakochick because she is amazing and she knows why ;)

**Author's Note:**

> I greatly appreciate comments and kudos, they are the encouragement that keep me writing. Thanks for reading!


End file.
